Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

how do you try to take your rights?

12 replies

phenomenal · 25/07/2017 11:18

Okay, this might be a little confusing, but try and understand. My parents are completely misogynistic okay...My mom believes that getting beaten up at times by to husband is okay because he's your guardian and he cares for you. She also believes that there's nothing called marital rape and it's all in love. My father is a restrictive person who cares about what the society ould think about his reputation. I want to know how do you people manage with this?? I am aware of the times and the things women have to go through and I don't know how to cope with this. I am not allowed to go abroad and study and even go out with friends who are boys that alsoin broad daylight. I was not allowed to go out with my brother to my aunt's house who lives in a village area because people might think wrong about us. I need to do something to cope with this but I don't know what. I have been fighting for too long at home and I think I am weak who doesn't have much of a voice outside my house. Ay suggestions how to change myself??I feel I am getting depressed more and more every day. I feel too strongly. Unfortunately.

OP posts:
MelinaMercury · 25/07/2017 11:22

How old are you?

If you're old enough, bugger their opinion and apply to study somewhere with accommodation to get away from them.

They sound toxic.

VestalVirgin · 25/07/2017 11:24

Do you live with your parents and are financially dependent on them right now?

Which country do you live in? Your parents' attitude seems very backwards for even the most backwards place I have ever been to.

DJBaggySmalls · 25/07/2017 14:01

You are not weak. you are a very strong person. You still have your own thoughts and beliefs, even though you are living under this regime.
You cannot change your parents. You can't fix them. You can only survive until you have a safe way to leave and make your own home. The safest way is to get a good education, a job, and economic independence.

Datun · 25/07/2017 14:39

No, you are not weak. It sounds very difficult.

How old are you? If you are of age, you can do what you like.

I realise that might be incredibly difficult because it might cause a rift in your family.

If you are subjected to abuse yourself, can you tell us?

If you are of age, you can leave. It may cause a rift, or your family may realise they can no longer control you and it may make them less restricting in their outlook.

whoputthecatout · 25/07/2017 15:13

It's good you feel strongly at the unfairness, injustice and sheer stupidity of your parents' attitude. The fact you feel strongly means you are strong.

As soon as it is financially possible get the hell away from them.
They are toxic.

phenomenal · 25/07/2017 16:20

I hope to do that. But I don't have a job which can sustain my studies and my food. I am 17+ gonna be 18 in September

OP posts:
phenomenal · 25/07/2017 16:25

No, no abuse. Just words. My brother supports me most of the time. Igotta do just get out of here and then maybe I will be happy. I don't know if I will ever be able to though. Because having my own income is hard, in India you don't get much jobs at this age. And thank you so much for discussing with me. I have been a feminist for too long now. I just want that women get their rights. India is really really backward. You can't even imagine what girls go through when they travel in train or how scary it is to come home late and so many rapes every day.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 25/07/2017 16:45

You are 17 and live in India? Then it is very hard.

I have a lovely Pakistani friend who 'got out' as she puts it. But she admits that was a combination of luck (she became very ill just before her wedding at 15 and didn't get married) and supportive parents. She got a good education, which really helped.

VestalVirgin · 25/07/2017 17:00

You are studying, though? That's great!

You can plan long-term, finish your studies, get a job, then get out - or decide to get a low-wage job and get out then save money for studying.
Do you have friends who would support you?

The most important thing is that you remain free in your own head. You are very strong for managing to see so clearly that your parents are misogynist.

VestalVirgin · 25/07/2017 17:06

Oh, sorry, posted before reading your new post. I should have guessed you are in India.

In that case, a good education is definitely your best bet.

Try and find some local feminists via Google, someone who knows the problems you deal with first hand will be much better able to help you.

phenomenal · 25/07/2017 17:07

MrsTerry your Pakistani friend is lucky,it's really hard for Muslim girls. I am not a muslim girl, I wish luck to her for her future. I hope she does great.

OP posts:
phenomenal · 25/07/2017 17:10

Vestal thanks for the advice. My friends can't support me enough to get me a job, but yes they are definitely very supportive mentally. They provide me with all the encouragement when I am down. And you know, my parents do love me but they are just too backward, I wish they would just change a little. I have a free head but at times the arguments get too heated. I will get out in college, I got it planned. I am trying to save up money to go to another place for studying :)

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread