Woman takes sensible precaution, date offended...

[Gingernaut]

Blasting News article here

Actually sounds quite a good test to weed out the understanding guys from the pricks who are too bothered about their hurt feelings to consider women's vulnerability.

Indeed Collidascope - the up side of this was the woman was able to discover what kind of person this man is.

Quite something women are repeatedly told it's up to us to guard against attack then a woman takes a precaution and a man takes great offence at it.

I thought very much the same shiny.

That's a great idea. I'll start doing that. If dude is decent, no harm done. If dude is a misogynist asshole, I am rid of him immediately, not waste time going on a date with him. If dude is misogynist asshole and rapist, he'll likely give up for fear of being caught. If not, increased likelihood that he'll be caught.

I'll tell all single women I know about this.

I agree the guy is a dick and his response proved she was right to be cautious.

But personally, if I'm sufficiently unsure about a guy to merit texting a picture of his number plate to my friend, I would not be getting into his car. Easier to just sort my own transport for the first couple of dates.

Sensible. Texting the reg to your other phone is another one.
You could end up with a lot of nice pictures of cars. I like it.

I agree with all of you! Why is the world so depressingly anti-women trying to stop themselves being attacked, just so individual men can prove what good eggs they are, despite the stats for their sex?

Side note: I have also heard that making a show of taking pics of taxi/uber/whatever plates and driver id cards is a good safety tip.

But personally, if I'm sufficiently unsure about a guy to merit texting a picture of his number plate to my friend, I would not be getting into his car. Easier to just sort my own transport for the first couple of dates.

If?

I always left a photo and all the data I had of a guy with my parents when I went on a date with someone I met online. As a general policy. Not because I felt unsure about the guys, just because I know the facts.

Almost all of those dudes turned out to be okay and didn't try to assault me. (one tried to talk his way into being allowed to stay the night; I didn't meet him again).

Deciding such things solely on how you feel about a man is not safe. If you don't feel safe, obviously you should run for the hills, but many women do feel safe and then the man they are with attacks them.

Actually, as a bloke, I'd have no problems with this at all. Perhaps the way it was explained to the bloke (assuming it was explained) didn't get the point across - it must be a difficult thing to raise without affecting the date night: "just in case you're attack me"

I don't think it's at all like the man who was asked to move on a plane. He was being made to do something for no reason, because the airline had all his details and he was sitting in what is essentially a public place. The man in the article wasn't being asked to change or move or do anything. The woman simply took a picture of his car. He chose to get offended and leave which is his prerogative. If he'd have thought about it for a short while he could have seen that it's not a comment about him personally, but about women's safety generally.

No wonder the guy is offended and left her there. This is just like that time when a man was asked to move seats in a plane to stop him from sitting next to a child who was travelling alone.

It's absolutely nothing like that at all, for all the reasons posted by Assasinated.

I think this is a really good idea, I have sent the link on to a couple of friends.

I always left the name, number, photo, details si have found out about the guy with a friend before meeting up but if I thought I needed a photo of his number plates I would simply won't go into the car.

Seeing as most women who are assaulted know the attacker in some way how could you know that?

No wonder the guy is offended and left her there.

Yes, violence male violence against women and girls is so common and women are repeatedly given victim blaming advice about guarding against attack yet it's "no wonder" a man is offended when a woman takes one precaution.

Acting offended is the first thing someone does when they're in the wrong.
Not saying that guy was planning an attack but he maybe wasn't planning on being the perfect gentleman either.

it must be a difficult thing to raise without affecting the date night: "just in case you're attack me"

I dunno, I sometimes meet with women I know over the internet, and telling someone I want to meet in a public place "you know, just in case you're a chainsaw murderer" is usually met with laughs and agreement.

But of course, those women have to make sure I am no danger to them, too. So they understand.

Acting offended is the first thing someone does when they're in the wrong.

Exactly. Good riddance, I say. At best, he was a man who has never thought five seconds about how his behaviour makes women feel.
So not exactly perfect relationship material.

I always left a photo and all the data I had of a guy with my parents when I went on a date with someone I met online. As a general policy. Not because I felt unsure about the guys, just because I know the facts.

VestalVirgin- after how many dates with a guy would you feel it's ok to stop doing this? Do you really tell someone where you're going every time you go out?

If we're meeting somewhere public, and I'm making my own way home, I really feel it would be overkill to also be hassling my parents/friends with details of every single date I go on And I go on a lot!

After I've met them a couple of times I know whether I feel comfy getting in a car with them. Like NoLoveofMine says, most attackers are known to their victims- the only way to completely eliminate the risk of being attacked is to never allow any man into my life. Taking a photo of a number plate isn't going to stop me being attacked. Trusting my instincts, being alert to red flags, and not being afraid to remove myself from situations where I begin to feel unsafe might do.

I've been saying to take a pic of the damn plates for ages. Seemed pretty obvious for me.

In South America a standard piece of advice is doing this when getting into any car (taxi) or even pretending to, just talking the license plate into the phone even if you aren't calling someone.

Too many men have too big an ego. Oh no, how dare she not blindly trust me. Such disrespect.

He would have hated me. My friend IDed DH on our first night out and I had a 'are you OK' call when I went back to his place. And he was completely fine with it, because he's not an arsehole and has a sister and female friends and basic empathy.

I often pick up (female) hitchhikers, and I always offer them my registration if they don't take it before getting in the car. I'm not offended by it, it sounds like he's looking to be offended.