Even the women don't support women.

[HamletsSister]

MiL who is 84, and lovely, came to stay bringing gifts for the 4 of us. Identical chocolates for all. And a diary each.

DD and I both got one with flowers on it. DH and DS both got diaries from a particular university.

DH went there so no problem with that.
DS was offered a place but has chosen to go elsewhere.
I have qualifications from 3 universities (not this one)
DD would love to go there but is only 15.

We sat (after MiL and DH had left) and discussed it.

It may seem to be a small thing but a girl getting a pink flowery diary like her Mum while the males get Uni diaries suggesting high achievement and academia both annoy me.

I don't have a problem with MiL - she is old and would much prefer the flowery one herself so, in her mind, has given us something lovely.

But, DD and I were talking and if you multiply this kind of gift / attitude over her life then it must make it harder to believe she can be as good, or better, than her brother and males.

Both DH and DS were fairly horrified and don't want the diaries anyway.

Anyone else get this kind of drip drip approach but from women as well as men?

My MIL has massive internalised misogyny. She thinks it's awful that DH's old Catholic boys school has currently a female headteacher as 'it's not traditional'. I'm going to have choice words with her if she ever says anything similar in front of DD 😠

I can imagine my mil doing something like this. I have 2 young dd's and since they were born mil has been fixated on them both being 'little girls' wearing dresses and being obsessed with pink etc.

My eldest DD is actually a stereotypical 'girl' who loves pink, dresses and processes. Which is fine as that is her choice, but I hate hate hate the notion that that is the only choice for girls and if they deviate (like my youngest seems to be doing) then they are not 'proper little girls'.

Actually we were at a family party earlier today, eldest dd was having a tantrum over something (as kids do) and some random extended family member of dp's who I've never spoken to turned around and said to me "you should have had boys, they don't do that". I was but didn't say anything, wish I had now. Of course little boys have Tantrums, all kids do. It's just that it seems to be more acceptable for boys to kick off.