Instagram

[FieldsOfWheat]

I've recently been looking at a lot of Instagram/Youtube accounts by "fitspo" and "clean eating" bloggers and frankly I'm shocked and saddened. For a lot of these girls (Brianna JackFruitson, FreeLee, Sarah's Day) it is literally their lives, and it's disordered eating. Their entire social media channels are about their (restrictive) diets, their 6-pack abs, and long videos about their dieting history including Sarahs_Day moaning that she was a "chunk" at 57kg.

I scrolled down to the comments expecting someone to say something like "just live your life, your worth isn't in your body, why not get a hobby or career not related just to your appearance" but instead the comments were from teenagers praising her for being "inspirational" and that she'd given them good diet and workout ideas.

I think I'm starting to hate social media. The way these "gurus" have hundreds of thousands of young girls following them and thinking that what they eat and how much they weigh is the most important thing in the world. The way that I (as a 24y/o woman with my own flat and a lovely BF and career in STEM) feel inferior to these women who live at home and have no job, just because they have flat abs and don't eat carbs. I feel ashamed AF but it makes me feel like shit.

Before, we just had the likes of Kate Moss but now EVERY girl with a webcam can peddle eating disorders under the guise of "wellness" and "fitspo", and if everyone can do it, you feel even more like shit - if this normal girl with a webcam can look like a supermodel, does that make me a lazy fat shit? We think we've come so far with feminism but then girls spread this stuff to each other. I don't even think it's men largely at fault here, it's young women putting the pressure on each other.

Sorry for the angry rant. I'm just so angry about Instagram culture. It's so destructive and irresponsible.

The way that I (as a 24y/o woman with my own flat and a lovely BF and career in STEM) feel inferior to these women who live at home and have no job, just because they have flat abs and don't eat carbs. I feel ashamed AF but it makes me feel like shit.

The answer to all this is in your post, OP. You know full well it's destructive. And superficial. And does not equate to happiness in any way, shape or form.

Make a conscious decision to disengage. It's all too easy to get sucked in.

Anyone basing their peace of mind and happiness on dieting, losing weight and having the perfect body, is destined to failure.

You sound happy, healthy, with the circumstances in your life to provide you with true fulfilment.

This sort of commerce relies on feeding women's insecurities.

Don't buy into it.

I know you're absolutely right. It's negative but it's addictive like crack cocaine. I am going to disengage though, because otherwise I'm just pushing up their Views and contributing.

The other problem is, what we don't see. Obviously we don't see hugely successful women (like the Head of Fire Services, Chief of Police, academics, doctors) share their life on Instagram because

a) they don't have the time
b) there's not much "visually attractive" about a picture of a computer screen, A&E department or a fire station.

So what you end up with is the people that literally have nothing else to do - basically professional social media bloggers - taking over the Internet and setting goalposts for young teenage girls.

It makes me feel insecure as an adult but at least I can "see through it" to some extent - it's scary because a 13 year old might not. And it's sad that those girls think a YouTube blogger is "inspirational" and "full of great tips" because she puts coconut oil in her coffee to decrease her appetite. She has 200k people following her. Oh man, I could rant on about social media forever.....a tool designed to make people feel crap about themselves under the guise of "socialising".

I do feel for you. I didn't grow up with social media, so the pressure was nowhere near as great on young women.

Unfortunately, today, it is beamed into people's bedrooms and on their phones 24/7.

I see the cogs turning in my son.

He knows some social media is unhealthy and destructive, yet he still occasionally gets sucked in. Then gets exasperated with himself for doing so.

It sounds to me like the cogs have been slowly turning for you, and suddenly they are firing away.

You do see it. You do know.

And you're not prepared to shore up a message that you know is counter-productive on almost every level. Just to make somebody money at the expense of women and girls.

Well done for making a stand for womanhood!

Get angry. Don't buy it.

Your generation so needs women like you.

I don't even think it's men largely at fault here, it's young women putting the pressure on each other.

I think you made a lot of good points in your post FieldsOfWheat but am not sure about this. It might ostensibly be the case but in my opinion it all stems from seeing ourselves through the male gaze and wanting to appear what society has deemed attractive and desirable. That can then lead to young women putting pressure on one another but I think when it does it's the result of being bombarded with the message our worth is our appearance and men's approval of it constantly (in my opinion).

The other problem is, what we don't see.

Very much so. So many women are doing such inspiring things, breaking down barriers and excelling across fields including previously male dominated ones, but many (probably most) girls (and boys) are unaware of this.

It's women such as yourself who I admire - your own flat, forging a career in STEM and happy at 24. "#goals"

Instagram is shit undoubtedly but you don't know their motivation.

Not every Instagram "fitness" person is solely concerned with appearance.

He knows some social media is unhealthy and destructive, yet he still occasionally gets sucked in. Then gets exasperated with himself for doing so.

I can very much identify with this - unfortunately it's so easy for this to happen, even knowing accessing it is going to end in stress/ire.

I completely agree OP. We just removed Instagram on teenage DD's phone for exactly this reason.

I want her to look to real life people like you as young adult role models not a world of random IGers. It's incredibly destructive.

Yeah - social media is hard even in moderation - I only have FB/LinkedIn and have unfollowed people so my FB is just memes and news. Still, it's so easy to take a sneaky peek at someone's account and feel worse about yourself. Exactly as you said - easy to get sucked in but always makes you feel worse in the long run. Sometimes I want to just delete it but after 10 years I feel that getting rid of FB would be like pulling out a tumour and taking half my organs out with it.

Obviously it's human nature to want praise and validation but when it becomes easily available on tap, everyone starts fabricating their life to get more praise and validation, so everyone joins us, presenting this fake life and making everyone each other feel insecure.

I was looking at this teacher's IG - amazed at how she had the time/money to be on holiday every day. Then I realised she was going on holiday every half term and drip-feeding the photos for the rest of the 6 weeks! Obviously publishing nothing about her average school day, calling it "hibernation". Sigh. When did real life become hibernation and holidays/gym a photo opportunity to gloat.

Sometimes I think it was the worst invention - great for things like political grassroots movements and spreading campaigns, not great for self esteems.

I know a few women in their 20s and 30s who have got properly sucked into the #wellness bollocks thanks to social media. Ruby Tandoh has written some great stuff on it as both a cook and a former anorexic.

Ah yes I saw that article, it was good! That's what got me looking into this whole #wellness fad and really not liking anything I saw