On escaping cults

[VestalVirgin]

I have the problem that many people I would like to have friends with joined a cult that holds so very misogynist and plain irrational beliefs that I just can't deal with them talking about it.

Is there any hope that they will one day escape this cult? Does anyone have experience with that kind of thing?

Please don't ask for details on the misogynist beliefs, that would attract trolls.
My question is mostly what to do. Stay in touch and reassure them I'm there for them if they want to leave the cult?

Or just walk away?

Would staying in touch make any difference? It would cost me a lot of energy, so not sure I should invest that.

Sorry, that should be "... would like to be friends with".

I used to have friends who were sucked in by the SWP, and leaving was traumatic. They lived in a house run by the SWP, they appeared to be entirely loyal and fanatical (to the point I reduced contact with them) but afterwards complained about how little support they got from people who were supposed to be their friends.

Problem is, we couldn't see when they wanted to leave as they had to hide it from their handlers. And it would have been difficult to give support, as we weren't aware of the level of coercion involved.

I think if they ever decide to leave they will they will waver for a while and pluck up courage, and then just flip. I would be wary of offering hands on support, as with a misogynistic cult they may fake leaving to recruit or harm people who try to assist them. Protect yourself first.

I am not (very) worried about my own safety, and don't think they'd have to hide their change of mind from the people they live with, but I wonder how much of a difference knowing they can have friends outside the cult makes to the ability to leave. (And if I need to tell them that I will be there for them if they leave, or if they know that, considering I walked away because I couldn't deal with the attempts to convert me anymore.)

I have seen people change their minds about cults as the ability to speak their mind gets more and more impossible.

Can you do both? Let them know that you will be there if they want to leave, but without any further ongoing debate. Then it's up to them.

OP try cultinformation.org!! It is a brilliant organization that helped save my nephew!! Good luck!!

There's a really good book which might help you: Combatting Cult Mind Control by S Hassan.

Can you do both? Let them know that you will be there if they want to leave, but without any further ongoing debate. Then it's up to them.

I can send a short message, yes.

Will just have to figure out how to word that.

No experience , but are they allowed to have mobile phones? A text to them once in a while would let them know you are still there/ are they ok without hopefully needing too much emotional investment.

I used to have friends who were sucked in by the SWP, and leaving was traumatic The Socialist Workers' Party?

Thanks for all the input!

The problem solved itself, so to speak. I am not interested in being friends with those people anymore.

There's only so much misogyny aimed at myself that I'm willing to forgive.

Glad you got it off your chest OP.