Girls first - at nursery

[mikado1]

My ds has told me that each day, while going outside to play, and again at home time, the girls go first and the boys must wait. I think this is bizarre and don't like it. My son sees his girl friends as his equals and doesn't understand this distinction. Any opinions?

that sounds bonkers, have you talked to the teachers?

As a teacher I didn't want all the children rushing to get ready at the same time. Sometimes it would be girls first, sometimes those with brown hair, sometimes those who were 6...anything really. Depending on his age, maybe boy/girl is easier than other things?

They can't all go first.

Off you go if
You are wearing white socks
You are three
You have a big brother

Maybe your ds only remembers the times he is not going first.

No it's each day, I can see them coming out. He's 5, children 3-5, it's preschool. I have seen her hold him back when he and a girl have gone in the door at the same time She herself comes across as a very strong woman so it makes even less sense in some ways.

I would then assume that they are getting ready for school and following instructions. After lunch boys may go first.

'Ladies first' being instilled?

I'd go with if you have a blue jumper, buckles, green TShirt etc

I'm quicker to assume ladies first is being instilled.

I'd ask her in that case.

Is it really bothering him or is it something you are now aware of and are possibly making more of than it is. They are at nursery for a minimum of 3 hours and if your son is anything like mine , they can tell you very little about what's gone on in that time. He prob remembers the times he has to wait or not go first because it's something he dislikes but I would doubt if happens all the time as taking turns etc is something which is taught at this age. However if it's really upsetting him and he's mentioning it constantly without being prompted then I'd have a word with the teacher and I'm sure she'll be happy to tell you either why or that it's not all the time. If not you might highlight something she was unaware she was doing.

Sounds like old-fashioned 'ladies first' to me too. Which of course has the subtext of females needing protection. Ugh. Dividing nursery school kids by their sex is bad enough, but then adding the gender role of 'ladies first' ...I wouldn't like that either.

I'd just ask what the motivation is for it, although I can't think of any reasonable reason. Once you know why it's being done you can challenge it more effectively.

Lou he's not bothered and mentioned it in a very by the way fashion. I don't like it because of the idea of females having to be protected and when he was held back the time himself and a girl were going through a door, it was very much 'let the girl go first' and I was quite . Yes he's only there a few hours but it's the only group turn taking and I am surprised more than anything that ladies first is the order of the day at that age. Apart from attitude to girls, it makes me wonder about attitude to boys..

Pretty sure that in a school (I don't know about nursery settings), that's against guidance - splitting kids up by sex is frowned upon (obviously apart from for getting changed for swimming or whatever).

I really like the other suggestions here - brown hair, older brother already had their birthday etc. those are much more fun than boy/girl.

I imagine he was held back at the door because he wasn't following instructions and needed to wait rather than anything else.

You need to ask. If policy is "ladies first" it's stupid and wrong. But until you know for sure that's what's going on there's not a great deal of point speculating.

By saying the teacher comes across as a very strong woman do you mean a feminist or physically strong?
Perhaps the teacher has had a problem of boys pushing and being boisterous as they were going out. Still the wrong tactic but it may explain it
Ask any early years teacher if they would rather have a class full of boys or girls.

I mean in character/personality. Unfortunately I think going with poor little girls first, feeds into that boisterous boys bias, whether it's based on genuine experience or not.