Aaaah! My job is not a bloody hobby!

[shivermytimbers]

Just back from PILs. I'm finishing maternity leave and am back at work next week. They asked about what hours I'd be doing, where baby is going while I work etc. But the subsequent comments were all about how it'll be nice for me to have a little break, as though my long worked for career and responsible job was all just a ruse to have a little rest from my proper job of motherhood. I then made a slightly sarcastic remark to DH asking if he enjoyed his little break when he went to work? Was laughed at, told that that's 'a bit different' and then, when I asked why, there was an awkward silence that pretty much lasted til we came home. Am I just being over sensitive or does this attitude suck?

It sucks.

Yep, it sucks. Well done in calling them out over it, though.

You are not being overly sensitive.

I think you did well to keep your temper.

It does suck.

It sucks completely.

My PIL were far more morally supportive of me going back to work after the DC were born (MIL has worked in IT since the 1960s, so she knows a thing or 2 about shaking up gender stereotypes). My own DM just views it as financial necessity, but that's my fault for not marrying a solicitor or surgeon. Someone who is owner/director of a civil engineering consultancy is clearly not in the same league.

OP, that definitely sucks! That was the expectation when my DCs were born in the early '80s. It was kind of expected that I would give up work to look after them, which is what I did. Actually, virtually everyone I knew did. I can't remember knowing mothers who worked while their children were below school age.

I guess your PIL are from my era, so they probably view it as the norm for women to stay home. You'll need to enlighten them that times have changed and that women now have more choices and more opportunities than they did 30 or 40 years ago.

It sucks. I'd be furious.

Thanks all! I can't understand how people can justify saying stupid things like "it'll be nice for you to have some time for yourself" (not a chance in my job) while DH is obviously doing something for the good of the family - even though our pay is very similar. Makes me come over all ragey!

Really glad you called them on it. They obviously knew they didn't have a leg to stand on. And very impressed you kept your temper.

I find it interesting when the kids are ill- I work less hours than DH but earn the same, so in effect I earn more pro-rata and am the breadwinner. Who is expected to take time off? Yup.

When I say less hours, I mean a very small difference - its not PT v FT hours.