This is a good article from the sons of a man who murdered his wife and daughter.

[PrinceAli]

They talk about the reporting of the "one off incident" and the way neighbors were quoted about the "nice man".

Killer father was 'like a terrorist' - BBC News
apple.news/Afloo23wCQmmqXyH6X8brXg

I just came on to post this - I thought a very powerful article.

It's brave of them to speak out. More people need to.

Also read this earlier today and considered posting about it!

They sound like great young men and very courageous to speak out against the 'but he's such a nice man, it's so very uncharacteristic' thing.

Bet their mum would be incredibly proud of them.

Wow.
That's a brave and honest article.

I really appreciate their speaking out, especially because they put to bed (at fucking last!) the frankly offensive constant narrative in these cases, which is that of the "nice guy snapped" shit.

Sadly, it will take other men speaking out in this way to make other men/the media listen.

I've just been watching this. Their mum had clearly done such a good job raising brave, loving, honest men even whilst she was living with an abuser.

And to add they are a credit to their mother.

That's a fantastic piece -

He would have broken any restraining order. The problem is you can only protect people by having universal societal beliefs.

Yes.

And to add they are a credit to their mother

They absolutely are. Out of all of it, her influence means they can break the cycle. If only the support could have been there so their mother and sister could have been safe.

Any way to link it not in Apple news?

It goes straight to BBC news.

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-40105535

I remember reading of this horrendous case (tragically far from a one off). They've articulated this so sadly well and I hope their words receive a lot of attention. What they have and are going through is awful and that they're speaking out about it and so powerfully refuting the usual lines in coverage of these cases does them and their mother huge credit.

It's abhorrent how often men who do what the abuser in question did are almost excused, quotes such as in this case from people who knew them praising them, cases like this presented as a one off rather than one of far too many (though of course one is too many, just that the problem is rarely cited which makes it all the more laudable they have done so here).

It is interesting, isn't it, that he just murdered the women in the family. I don't think that's a coincidence.

I think there was even one such murderer who explicitly stated that he wanted his son to bear his name.

Those men aren't just random madmen, they're very obviously misogynists.

He had apparently planned to kill all of them but yes then it came to it, it was just the women.

"When emotional abuse is talked about the onus is on the victims to escape or put up with it. There is no other form of murder where victims are blamed."

Brave, smart young men. Well done Claire, you broke the cycle. May you and Charlotte now find peace

Thanks, Lweji.

What brave young men. I am just sorry they had to be. And maybe people will listen more to them.

You can watch them here: www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b08s73b8/victoria-derbyshire-01062017 from 1:09:28 or so. I'm just about to.

Very brave and honest, considering how widespread abuse is it's very rarely discussed.

He had apparently planned to kill all of them but yes then it came to it, it was just the women.

Had he? The sons said something about him planning to kill them all, but it wasn't mentioned why they weren't there when he did it, was it?

It stood out to me because there have been a number of cases where such a man just murdered the female family members. Surely cannot be concidence in all of those cases.
(I am sure he'd not have murdered just the sons. His main target must have been the mother.)

He'd been writing his justification before she left him and that was about wiping out the whole family.

I think these were the same, admirable young men who also posted pictures and videos of their mother and younger sister, so that people would see images and them and their lives, not their abusive, murderer father.

What a very powerful article.

Those poor men - so obviously aware of the horrors of what happened and working so hard to help their mother escape to then see their murderer father excused by papers across the country.

They've done a wonderful thing by speaking up about this, it's just so sad that it's taken the murder of their mother and sister for them to be listened to.

I read the article this morning and totally agree OP. So refreshing to read this instead of the "loving father" narrative. Their mother did a great job raising these clearly intelligent, articulate and mature young men.

I agree with their take that the father was like a terrorist. Years ago in Spain there was a movement geared towards calling domestic violence domestic terrorism - as the victims live in constant terror and the perpetrator controls via fear and violence or threats of violence or death. It also brought home the fact that in most countries in the world (including 1st world countries) more women are killed by their partners than there are victims of terrorist attacks, and yet the focus of media and resorces is so different.