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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

"No Dear, You're Not A Gay Man Trapped in a Woman's Body" Huffington Post

25 replies

Terfinator · 17/04/2017 23:45

www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/no-dear-youre-not-a-gay-man-trapped-in-a-womans_us_58ef8acfe4b04cae050dc515?section=us_queer-voices&ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000054

Oh dear - where to start?

The once-great Huff Post has truly swallowed the Kool Aid and is insulting women openly! Sad

"Trans men attracted to men actually were once gay men trapped in a woman’s body. If you’re not trans, making this statement minimizes and even erases their experience. If you’re not presenting as a man and asking us to use male pronouns when we refer to you, then you’re being glib about someone else’s challenging and deeply felt experience. And that’s offensive."

Furthermore, they are doing a "powerful" series on growing up trans...

www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/youth-interrupted-growing-up-trans_us_58f4e182e4b0bb9638e5417a?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000054

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 18/04/2017 00:07

That's the oddest article. Do women tend to say that a lot? It's not anything that I've ever noticed! There's an assumption half way through that women are all heterosexual too, which is just daft. I wonder if this kind of nonsense is popular with their readership.

Terfinator · 18/04/2017 00:31

Why was my post all underlined? Confused

But yes, there's no logical consistency with the argument! It seems that trans people can be whatever they want, but "cis-women" must act in a certain way! IT is just thinly-veiled misogyny! Angry

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 18/04/2017 00:58

That's the oddest article. Do women tend to say that a lot? It's not anything that I've ever noticed!

That was what I thought too but according to the article apparently Madonna said it 23 years ago.

I've no idea if she did or not - although quite a lot of complete nonsense (and much mediocre music) has been spouted by Madonna over the years.

nooka · 18/04/2017 01:13

What's particularly strange about that article is that HuffPuff are very pro trans, and every argument in that argument can be used (and would fit much better) towards trans women who do seem to relatively commonly claim to be lesbian women trapped in mens bodies. If it is annoying for gay men when straight women do it then it's equally annoying for lesbian women when trans straight men do it isn't it?

Judgejudy1 · 18/04/2017 01:33

Terfinator, I'm unsure as to what part of that article you thought was "openly insulting women." Was it the passage you quoted? Because if so, I'm afraid I don't see it myself. Could you explain?

AnotherQuoll · 18/04/2017 06:25

I haven't even clicked the link but as far as I'm concerned the sexist insults begin at "No, dear".

ICJump · 18/04/2017 06:36

What a pile of crap

ICJump · 18/04/2017 06:36

The article I mean is a pile of crap

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 18/04/2017 06:49

"And just because you don’t actively oppress doesn’t mean you’re not part of an oppressing group."

The author seems to be completely missing the irony of a man saying this to women.

CharlieSierra · 18/04/2017 07:10

Identifying as is appropriating. And you just can’t take what is not yours to take

Quite Hmm

Datun · 18/04/2017 07:22

She’s making a statement that she can walk away from any time it becomes too difficult. It trivializes our experience. You can like me, you can have a lot in common with me, but you cannot be me.

I suppose it was only a question of time until the boot went on the other foot. The can't be many of them though.

NotAPuffin · 18/04/2017 07:44

But identifying with is a very different thing from identifying as. Identifying with is empathy. Identifying as is appropriating. And you just can’t take what is not yours to take.

Can they not see the irony here?

Datun · 18/04/2017 07:54

It's the first time I've ever seen it. I'm so used to seeing heterosexual men identifying is lesbians, that the reverse looks ridiculous, even to me.

Datun · 18/04/2017 07:56

There's an assumption half way through that women are all heterosexual too, which is just daft.

It's not assuming all women are heterosexual, it's assuming all women who identify as men and remain attracted to men, are heterosexual.

Eminybob · 18/04/2017 08:13

I have literallly never heard any woman say that ever.

The writer clearly has heard it once, and rather than just address whoever said it, decided to use it as a rant to all woman kind.

Really weird.

QuentinSummers · 18/04/2017 08:59

Basically I think the author is being TERFy and having issues with "non binary" but doesn't want to say that. And as usual it's easier to attack women.
Why not take issue with the men claiming to be a lesbian trapped in a mans body? Or the part time cross dressers? It just goes to show how mens feelings are sacrosanct, women are just thoughtless or plain wrong about theirs.

QuentinSummers · 18/04/2017 09:00

Why is everything being written in the style of Everyday Feminism these days?
The last paragraph is gold though:
Identifying with is empathy. Identifying as is appropriating. And you just can’t take what is not yours to take.
Someone needs to pop on and call him a transphobe Grin

AnotherQuoll · 18/04/2017 10:45

Believe me, I'm sorely tempted to do just that.

GuardianLions · 18/04/2017 11:03

I cba to read the whole thing... but the only times I've ever heard a woman say that, is when she has a high sex drive and wants lots of casual sex - a bit like Samantha in Sex in the City, and usually hangs out with a lot of gay men, sharing anecdotes of seedy encounters in a way that she couldn't with other women because they would be horrified.

Datun · 18/04/2017 11:10

If I came out as a man, remained attracted to men and so insisted I was a gay man, most people would steer me gently to a therapist.

Yet social media is flooded with men saying exactly that in reverse.

DJBaggySmalls · 18/04/2017 13:43

''Every so often a straight woman will blurt out some version of “I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.”

Literally have never heard any woman say this ever. Author claims to have heard it often and thinks it is a pile of bull.

''"Trans men attracted to men actually were once gay men trapped in a woman’s body.''

Author makes this claim with authority. Apparently its true when men say it.

ILookedintheWater · 18/04/2017 13:58

But identifying with is a very different thing from identifying as. Identifying with is empathy. Identifying as is appropriating. And you just can’t take what is not yours to take.
Does this mean that this gay man believes that gender appropriation is wrong? Is he a TERM?

VestalVirgin · 18/04/2017 14:02

Literally have never heard any woman say this ever.

I have, but all the women I heard it say also identified as trans. Which according to trans logic automatically makes them trans, so where's the problem?

Women who haven't drunk the trans Kool Aid don't say they are actually gay men. They might say that they wish they were gay men, or that they find gay men more attractive than straight men, but the "trapped in the wrong body" narrative is very much a trans thing.

Perhaps there were straight women who said it in the past, because at the time, everyone would have laughed at them if they had actually insisted that people use male pronouns for them, but nowadays, any woman who says she's "trapped on a woman's body" is probably trans-identified.

Terfinator · 18/04/2017 21:19

Terfinator, I'm unsure as to what part of that article you thought was "openly insulting women." Was it the passage you quoted? Because if so, I'm afraid I don't see it myself. Could you explain?

Well, the whole article, including the title, is patronizing and insulting. It seems to be calling all women homophobic and transphobic.

OP posts:
RintelsPoint · 19/04/2017 14:37

In my late teens/early 20s I sometimes used to joke I was a gay man in a woman's body. I often think of this on trans threads, specifically when the question of "what is feeling like a woman?" arises.

Being an introspective type, I used to ponder why I felt, to some extent, like a man. I couldn't put my finger on it exactly, but there were two main things: The first was that I felt more like I suited the role of "camp gay male" when in a group - equally male and female friends but slightly an outsider to both, somehow, liking double entendre/innuendo type jokes (I remember thinking pantomime dame (!) was the epitome of acting roles, what a shame the men get to have the best part!)
The second thing was something to do with feeling more... I dunno, sturdy (I'm not large physically), and practical. Eg. out in town for the night I would wear a feminine, sexy outfit, but with Dr. Martens and a big hoody/jacket to keep me warm there and back (and for freezing smoke breaks when the law changed). Draping a jacket over a shivering impractically dressed woman made me feel "manly". Hmm

Soooo a massive bunch of stereotypes, basically. But it manifested as a sort of vague internal sense that I still can't put into words. Can only explain it by saying "I felt like a man when I did x,y, and z".

I never for a moment considered I could be "trans" or doubted I was female. Because reality - hello, biological fact!

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