Non-masculine role-models and films.

[ChocChocPorridge]

I have heard people say that it's tough to be a feminine man, that there aren't role models, that taking the non-roughty-toughty path is hard and ridiculed, that that's why we need to give the blokes a break, because, unlike women, if they try to be soft and nice, they'll be ridiculed for him.

Yet I've just watch multiple movies over the past few days with the kids where the geek guy, or the troll who stopped singing when his grandmother died (or wanted to eat a troll to be happy), or the nanny who was a secret super hero, or any other trope of non-conforming male turned out to be the hero. Whilst the woman was either the prize or needed the aforementioned tearful troll to tell her she could do it or had to change her appearance and be beautiful to be listened to.

The over-whelming message was - 'men, be whoever you like, you'll save the day and win the girl', and 'women - look your best, but you'll never do it alone'

Did I just make bad movie choices? Are men still getting all the positive messages, whilst women get backhanded compliments? (come to that, is that not a pretty horrible phrase now that I think about it!)

Back up where you were little thread.

I don't watch movies or tv much, but I have favourites and the women in them are mostly positive role models. I love Doc Martin and the importance of Louisa's career is stressed in several episodes. The doctor's aunts are the providers of wisdom and guidance while most of the male characters are comic relief. I loved the film Mamma Mia and although it is a romantic comedy the female characters are shown as autonomous with agency and dignity. It is they, in the end, who call the shots.

My DF always says that women always make the final decision about marriage. Says that in a healthy relationships he chases her until she decides to let him catch her. He thinks he wooed and won. She knows better. It wasn't true of my marriage but I think there's something in it.

" It wasn't true of my marriage but I think there's something in it"

I don't!

Great point, OP.