I never think about it now. It's literally only when the topic of rape comes up. And I totally get what you're saying about it not policing my behaviour.
I think it helped that both times I kept thinking "this is rape". Afterwards I was a bit angry with myself at being too trusting but I also felt pleased that my reaction meant I had got away uninjured in any other way. I worked on the basis that although one of the men had a knife I guessed that all he wanted was sex with as little bother as possible. So I lay limp and waited. Got away unstabbed. Tbh, I felt I'd done well.