Anxious

[Lollypops20181]

Hello

Hope I can get some advice from you. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and have had years of counselling. I went to a bar on my way home after my works do for xmas as I needed the toilet. I decided to use the bathroom and had an additional glass of wine. I sat at a table where two men who were sitting to the right of the table were sitting (there were no other available seats) and they both started to verbally abuse me saying I was a whore etc etc. I was horrified and went outside of the premises and explained to someone what had been said. I was so tearful and ended up crying for about 30 minutes to a complete stranger: I then went home and have been feeling anxious since.

I am so anxious bevause I know there two nasty men were taking snap chat videos of their verbal abuse of me. The whole incident gave me severe flash backs of my childhood.

I am worried that if people witnessed my total breakdown they would have thought I was totally crazy. My anxiety is through the roof and I am seeing my GP in the morning.

I have no recollection of what these men look like and I am afraid I will encounter them again. I am feeling rather paranoid after the whole incident.

It has also made me consider my relationship with alcohol.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, what a horrible experience

I feel so sad that this happened to you, sunshine. I think your reaction was one that many others would have too. How intimidating it must have been. I definitely would not have thought you were crazy, I would have been concerned.

I am glad you are going to visit your gp for support.

I think you are very strong for seeking help, previously and now.

Perhaps try some mindfulness breathing exercises in the meantime to help reduce the anxiety.

Thank you both for your kindness and warmth. I suppose I am worried I was seen by anyone I know as I am a fiercely private person. These men made me realise how vulernable I still am especially when I've had a drink but I also wonder how I could have handled the situation in a sober state. I feel fragile, alone and scared. I have been unable to face work or the outside world since. Fragile that I may be confronted for what others might think is my silly behaviour when they are not aware of the back story to my frailty that night. Thank you again for your kindness x

You're welcome, sunshine. Take care. X

GP has encouraged me to return to work, to try and not worry about what others think, to remain positive for I have done nothing wrong and most normal people would have been very upset if faced with the same behaviour. Still feel like a plonker for letting two complete idiots get to me like this and for my reaction to their behaviour. I don't actually care what people think now if they witnessed my complete breakdown, I am a human being. I was deeply upset, now realise I need additional support to assist me through some negative feelings from my past abuse. I will continue on my survival journey; these two men are a bump in the road. It's just sad to think some people think it is ok to treat others so horribly.

Have a lovely week

I'm glad you are feeling more positive

Thank you, same to you.