The perfect response

[LastGirlOnTheLeft]

Hi everyone. Last week at work I was on my lunch break when one of the women in my office asked me, 'So you are all for women's rights, then?'

I answered that yes, of course, because I am not thick!! I then went on to talk about how women are treated by the media, about unfair representation and so in, and also stats that I read on this forum...about women owning 1% of all property etc.

My colleague kept going on about men she knows who are fighting to see their kids and women she knows who get their claws into men for their money!! I argued back as best I could (my main argument was here we are talking about women and all she seemed to care about was MEN) but I was left wondering if any of you wise people knew of a website stacked full of stats that I can memorise, or a decent and coherent argument I can utilise when under ambush about WHY exactly I am feminist.

My boss listened in, and she said afterwards that she thinks all my colleagues were impressed....here's hoping!!!!!

I don't know... I think that none of what she was saying has anything to do with women's rights. I think I'd ask her that, and ask her to explain what rights should be removed from women as a result.

Mmmmnnn....I hadn't thought of that!!! She is very outgoing whereas I am shy to a fault....I just felt everyone's eyes on me in the staff room and just responded as best I could!!! I would love to have the perfect answers or stats at my fingertips for the next time!!

Cheers Speak!!!!

Ask her what she thinks about the workplace. Childcare vs work balance. The expectations on who looks after the children - if not at childcare. Who takes the time off? Expectations on working mothers. The fact that part time work is not valued as much as full time work. Gender expectations at school. The portrayal of women in the media. Female representation in the media.

Ask her what she thinks feminism is.

I got into an argument with a man who was telling the whole bar that women were so hormonal they shouldn't be in charge of decisions. I pointed out that there were more than 8 men in prison for every woman, which suggested that although women might be hormonal a couple of days a month, men were like that all the fucking time.

Got a round of applause.

As someone who has had many conversations like that one let me advise you very strongly not to bother. If someone sneeringly asks me if I'm 'into' women's rights I just say 'yes I am' then leave it there no matter how much they goad me. With people like that facts are pointless. They're not discussing anything with you.

Yes, Sparrowhawk, that's what I usually do too. People who sneer are usually completely lacking in interest in feminism and won't be interested whatever you say to them.

The sort of women who bang on about poor men are playing the game of being "not like the other girls", a way of gaining male approval by stressing how much of an ally they are. My DH had a hell of a time getting access to my DSD. Didn't make either of us into MRAs. So often the men who join groups campaigning for father's rights turn out to have a history of DV or financial abuse.

The reason I engaged with the man in the bar was that we had an audience and he was making points that he considered irrefutable but which I knew I could completely flatten. It was rewarding, invigorating and a very rare occurrence.