Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Professional women getting squeezed out of careers by crazy long hours culture

34 replies

ocelot41 · 07/12/2016 07:10

Just thought I would post this brilliant bit of research - sounds like so many of my friends. Anyone else?
blogs.lse.ac.uk/businessreview/2016/11/04/women-who-quit-their-careers-a-group-rarely-investigated/

OP posts:
SenecaFalls · 08/12/2016 11:32

And I think it's one of social control.

Absolutely. When I worked in jobs with a long-hours culture, there was always someone who would go around checking in the morning and after 6 at night to see who was still there.

OlennasWimple · 09/12/2016 03:11

Yup, I've known senior managers walk the floor "after hours" to see who was still there - sometimes the only face time you could get with them would be to still be at your desk at 8pm... Hmm

I also agree with the research in the OP - I know so many brilliant, talented women who have stepped back from their careers but their DH's have continued to flourish. In every individual case it has made sense, but there's an overall pattern that can't be ignored. Interestingly, it didn't tend to happen right after having a baby, it has tended to be after baby 2 came along or when the DC started school (and care becomes a precarious patch work of breakfast clubs, after school clubs and a friend taking them to Brownies if you can get back in time to bring them home).

As the much-maligned Xenia would say if she was still posting, "don't marry a sexist" Smile

ocelot41 · 09/12/2016 05:11

I agree Olenna, it has been baby no 2 (or 2 and 3) when the wheels come off for a lot of my friends too. I don't think they intentionally married sexist men though - I think what happens is when men are overstretched and overtired themselves really deep down social conditioning comes out, which isn't processed through their normal, thinking minds. And that is sexist. Given how prevalent and deep rooted this conditioning is in our culture, it is a rare man who DOESNT react in that way.

It has been deeply upsetting for friends to encounter that in their own marriage. And for me - I fought it for YEARS. Although DH would say he valued my career as much as his own, he wasn't prepared to change his working schedule at all to enable me to follow mine because he thought that would reflect badly on him, and there was always some big emergency which needed to be attended to. The penny dropped eventually but my word, it took me digging my heels and then some to get there and I never in a million years expected that I would have to do that.

But sexism is only one factor. I think the researcher is right, the other, structural issue is the changing nature of work, where a 9-5 has become more like an 8-8 (with long or unpredictable trips away, a commute and always being available on a smartphone). It just doesnt fit with small people.

OP posts:
5to2 · 09/12/2016 05:28

I am in a senior professional role and go home on time whenever possible - but my shortest day is still out of the house at 8 and not home until 7. I work 4 days a week though and take great pains to keep my day off as just that. Without a very supportive family I'd not be able to do it.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 09/12/2016 07:55

Great thread. I hate the long hours culture but am guilty of it myself.

The last firm I worked for was obsessed with squeezing out maximum "value" from its staff. I've moved to a new firm where there's a far better work life balance. I really struggle to change my mind set.

Luckily for me dh is very good at stepping up and doing his fair share of taking care of the kids. But he has fairly long hours too and it's a struggle to get everything done between us.

Trills · 09/12/2016 08:18

Given how prevalent and deep rooted this conditioning is in our culture, it is a rare man who DOESNT react in that way.

Very well put

EvenTheWind · 09/12/2016 08:29

I agree that it is harder now they are at school, have clubs and things though we are very even handed in our house at sharing.

ocelot41 · 09/12/2016 09:15

We have moved cities and now have much smaller commutes, and are lucky that wr can afford to employ a student to help with after school care who is reliable, flexible and happy to do homework with DS (We found that an hour and a half or a couple of hours a night isn't seen as being 'worth it' by nannies or childminders) That all helps but it took a lot to be able to relocate and it is still a struggle sometimes (DH is away for a week this week and I'm sick!)

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/12/2016 09:24

I'm finding the long hours culture draining and tiring because I am getting older. It's just harder to keep up. Because I didn't achieve a high salary until I was middle-aged, though, I will have to keep working until I am past retirement age I suspect. I don't know how I will do it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page