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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

What on earth?

17 replies

MrsH16 · 29/10/2016 16:43

Sorry if in wrong place.
So i didnt want to make love to my husband yesterday morning. Now hes in a huff hasnt spoken to me for two days and is being a complete dick if he does answer me. Surely this isnt normal behaviour? I have slight thrush and so am uncomfy so didnt want sex. He took our son out for the day and hasnt even bothered with our daughter saying he sees her all week cos he has her while im at work. I feel like i am being punished for saying no. Actually devastated here 😢 any advice?

OP posts:
CthulhuInDisguise · 29/10/2016 16:46

He's being a dick.

Cosmicglitterghoul · 29/10/2016 16:52

I agree, he's being a dick. I'd be spelling out exactly how I felt about this. Don't get upset, get angry.

SamhainSoubriquet · 29/10/2016 16:52

He is being a massive dick and not only taking it out on you, but punishing your daughter toob

MrsH16 · 29/10/2016 17:02

Im at a loss as to why. I have every right to say no and actually cannot believe this behaviour!

OP posts:
SamhainSoubriquet · 29/10/2016 17:04

He wants what he wants, when he wants it whether you like it or not

You dared to say no and hurt his precious feelings

MrsH16 · 29/10/2016 17:13

Surely thats not normal though? its not like its he first time ive said no in 14 years but we have o ly been married three months and he is literally making me feel like im in the wrong here. I just dont understand it. He even took his wedding ring off this morning 😢

OP posts:
EmmarrrrgghhhMacGhhoooollll · 29/10/2016 17:13

Your husband is a tit, is he always this entitled?

SamhainSoubriquet · 29/10/2016 17:17

No it isn't normal

You've just got married? He is obviously using it to his advantage then. You can't escape as easily now you're married. He might get worse

MrsH16 · 29/10/2016 17:20

Ive said no before. it just seems so random that it has caused this much anger from him. Its not like he never gets it either. married three months ago couldbt have been happier till two days ago 💔 literally sat in other room out the way as im just ignored.

OP posts:
MrsH16 · 29/10/2016 17:22

Tha ks for all ur comments tho i dnt feel like im i the wrong now xx

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 29/10/2016 17:27

Ask him if he really wants to have sex with someone who doesn't want to be having sex with him. His answer should tell you a lot.

If he says he does, get him to think about the implications of that for a moment.

MrsH16 · 29/10/2016 17:37

I dnt think hed b bothered as long as he was getting it hed b happy. Cant really ask him as anything i say at the moment is met with stony silence. Its like talking to a child.

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Prawnofthepatriarchy · 29/10/2016 18:07

A friend of mine had a great relationship until they got married. Within weeks things changed. He got jealous, controlling. It seemed that once they were married he felt she belonged to him and revealed a nasty side.

I do hope this isn't what's happening with your DH. My friend's marriage broke down very quickly. Only time will tell. It might be worth spelling it out: "You are treating me very differently from in the past. Does being married change how you see us?" Because if he's not doing it consciously he might rethink things, IYSWIM.

Sorry you're having a bad time. Flowers

MrsH16 · 29/10/2016 18:16

Thank you for your message i definitely think ots a conversation i need to have. I didnt think marriage could change a person after sp long xx

OP posts:
HillaryFTW · 29/10/2016 21:35

"Ask him if he really wants to have sex with someone who doesn't want to be having sex with him. "

Yy to this. It's worrying you think he wouldn't care!

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 30/10/2016 11:02

I agree with the others: abusers ramp it up after they think they have you "trapped". Usually it's when the woman is pregnant or recently given birth.

That he was probably OK for 14 years but is being a shit now looks like it, sorry OP.

Would you consider having this fred moved to Relationships? Lots of wise women over there. Halloween Smile

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 30/10/2016 11:07

I didnt think marriage could change a person after sp long

It didn't. It just allowed the real him to reveal itself.

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