Advice on discussing consent and treating girls like human beings chat for 8 year old

[ageingrunner]

I'm not sure if the cup of tea analogy is too old for him? Has anyone successfully had this conversation? I thought I could wait a while but reading the sexual assault thread has made me realise that young children are involved in sexual assaults

That post was meant to be in reply to HalfShellHero I think the way it typed it might have not been very clear

Oh right I see ageing, thats a very proactive move, how will you balance that with the possibility of your DC blurring things out at school that could upset parents of other kids out of interest? Xx

Have you read the thread Half?

Well, the possibility of other kids "blurting things out" and one's own DC getting a really muddled version of the facts of life is surely a pretty major reason for making sure they hear the details from you, as their parent, first, so you can make sure it's accurate, age appropriate and placed in a moral and emotional context you're happy with.

My DS asked not long after he turned out how the sperm got inside the woman - he'd started coming up with various theories himself (of which he seemed to think the most plausible would be making a hole in the woman's tummy!) - so I told him. I must say I was heartened and amused to get the response pretty much every child since the beginning of time has come out with: "ew, that's horrible, I'm never doing that." I did stress at the same time that it was something only grown-ups should do, and they both had to want to do it and enjoy it, and it was best to do it with someone you really liked and thought was a nice person.

Hopefully I haven't scarred him for life, and at least if he blurts anything out to his class mates, it should have some semblance of accuracy and not involve making holes in the mummy's tummy.

eight, not out, dammit!

And parents' of other kid's feelings aren't my responsibility I'm afraid. I'll say what I think is appropriate to my child, and answer his questions as they arise. There has already been quite a lot of talk about sex amongst the children he speaks to, apparently, so I don't think I'm bursting any innocent bubbles by giving him useful information which will help him to treat other people with respect. How would you answer your child if they asked you how babies are made, Half? Hopefully you've talked to them about bodily autonomy etc?

Yes Mostly, my ds had the same response: eww!

My children have "always" known what sex is - that is, that a penis enters a vagina and puts sperm in, which with an egg make a baby - because we've always given them a biological answer. And we've always said it's an adult thing.

When some of the other parents in my child's school class found out, they were openly horrified that I'd "destroyed their innocence" but frankly that's bollocks.

It's just a thing they know, although thus far they don't understand the appeal.

Whilst pg with DC3 I was rather startled by DC1's earnest question about how you prevent pregnancy - fortunately SIL had just had a cat spayed, and I explained about the OCP ...

"Or you could just ask Daddy to stop putting the sperm in."

Well, yes.

I just can bring myself to tell my 7 yr old "daddy put his penis inside mummy" children grown up far too fast as it is, it's something that just horrified me I had hoped he'd be about 9/10 before that arises...perhaps naively ,I've obviously had the how babies are made with both kids, but been fairly vague thinks the Dr gets babies out of mummies, he knows what ovaries are and periods are linked to this etc etc,