The red tent

[paxillin]

My period is here. I actually wish there was a red tent for girls and women to menstruate and drink wine and tea. Exchange stories... anyone there?

The older I get the more I'm enjoying the couple of days of slowing down a little. My period used to be such a monster, started off as a source of shame as a girl, later a relief that contraception has worked and then a source of sadness when trying to conceive. It's like an old friend now.

Oh, but definitely look forward to Freedom Day

I used to love the big cleansing bath I'd have when my period stopped. Stepping out on the bath mat. ready for a new month. Although I no longer have periods, can you fit a deep bath with everlasting hot water in the tent?

I would have loved a moonstone jewel to mark that rite of passage when I was a teen. Instead I got a book called Sue's Red Letter Day as my parents didn't talk about That Sort of Thing be it sex or a woman's normal bodily functions.

I love the idea, am totally to have a party when the time comes.

I like the moonstone idea when i started i thought i was dying. My mum said nothing chucked me a pack of pads and said to read the instructions. For years i felt disgusting and embarrased about them. Its only recently at 33 i have come to accept them. Only problem is at the moment i would be living in the tent as ive been on for the last 3 weeks (3day break inbetween).

Yes, a bathtub in the tent would be lovely. The first good use of those outdoor hottubs I've ever heard off.

Back in the tent. Wooly jumper, thick socks. Managed to bleed through my trousers like I haven't done this before. I'm in my 40s, ffs. I feel so cold during my period, it's all a bit miserable this month.

I missed my first one in years and years last month. I'm 52. I though I would feel a sense of relief but actually I feel a bit sad. I haven't had any hot flushes or anything yet though.

Do we get evicted from the tent after menopause?

No, we can be advisory when we stop I think.

Will there be hot water bottles in the tent? And fluffy socks? (For some reason my feet get cold when I'm crampy - or at least warming them up with fluffy socks makes me feel better)

I'm certainly bringing socks, blankets and cardigans. Wool and old.

Excellent, paxillin. DD won't be joining us in the tent, BTW - by coincidence we had a talk about periods this morning after she saw an unflushed tampon in the loo and freaked out (yes, yes, I know, bad to use tampons, bad to flush them). She has decided that they sound silly and messy and won't be having them. Oh to have the certainty of an obstinate six year old!

Ooh, I thought the Red Tent might be the place for me. But then I saw the '...and don't much mind the pain' and I thought, nope. Because I do mind it - it's shit and it gets in the way of life, and I'm quite surprised that the minimising (women's pain) attitude exists even in this corner.

I go to a red tent group and it's bliss. I do wish I could somehow sync my periods to it and stay there for 5 days at a time instead of just an evening per month!

Ugh I hate the pain - we can be in a corner (do tents have corners?) feeling righteously grumpy Zebra. I think it depends on how lucky you are with your periods. I personally find the first two days minimum are a sweaty, crampy, fainting mess and would be quite happy if we were allowed to opt out of life on those days to go snuggle under a duvet with some codeine.

Oscha, what happens at your red tent group? That sounds really interesting - I've never heard of this.

I will have to be advisory only, as post-hysterectomy. I had awful, awful pain with mine (reason for hyst), so I don't think I would have been able to bring much to the tent, except possibly industrial strength painkillers. I don't miss it! But the red tent does sound lovely.

It's brilliant. Honestly, the highlight of my month. We have a discussion topic each month and we usually do some kind of activity too, though not always. Sometimes it's a craft, or massage, henna, a game-anything really. We sit in a candle lit room, chat, eat, and generally put the world to rights. We start by sitting in a circle and passing a ball of wool around; we loop it round our wrists as we talk about our previous week/month/anything we need to get off our chests, then pass it to the person next to us so join in a web as we talk. During that bit, no one interrupts, so we've each got the floor for as long as we like. After that it's much looser and more free flowing. There are some fairly ritualistic elements because we're a fairly woo group, but not all red tents have that.

That sounds fab, Oscha. I'm not very woo but the idea of the space and time to spend with other women in that kind of environment definitely appeals.

Oscha thanks for explaining about your red tent group. I've just had a read about my local group and I love the sound if it. Not sure how good I'd be at talking to a big group but what a lovely environment.

I thought my periods were over.

Nope.

After starting a diet and exercise 'thing' with lots of protein, they're back.

Added bonus, they're silent and stealthy.

Time was, I had horrendous period pains.

Now, I have nasty ovulation pains, so distinct I can tell which ovary is popping one out and then nothing until I go to the toilet somewhere awkward and find blood on my pantyliner.

Sage leaf and black cohosh for the sweats. But then, I have hyperhidrosis so I deal with that sort of thing anyway on a daily basis.

Slipping in quietly. I'm not on my period. Just need somewhere cosy for a cup of tea where I can forget about the news.

I'm getting worse ovulation pain than ever now in my 40s, Gingernaut. A last Hurrah of my ovaries perhaps?

I loved that scene in 'Dagenham' when all the women traipsed into the shop floor and the older ones promptly stripped down to their girdles. The foreman was bit

I'm 35 and my horrible periods are getting even sodding worse now. The last two months, I felt so faint and sick that I had to lie on the floor of the shower until it passed. So this month, I've been necking orange juice for the vitamin C to help me absorb all the iron in the iron-rich food I've been shovelling in - it stopped the fainting but not the bastard pain.

Am off all hormonal contraceptives because they just make it all worse. So I would love a red tent to hide in! I love the book too.

Not been in the red tent for a while. This month is bad. Really flooding and painful. I'm in my 40s ffs. Not like the uterus is going to prepare for a pregnancy now, much as I'd like that. Grrr. Too hot for tea and a blanket, too.

Isn't that weird? I'm perimenopausal and have sore breasts and PMT (aggression and scattiness) for what may be the last time after some time with no such symptoms. I'm committing the feelings to memory and also, for the first time, realising that the anger that PMT produces for me can also inspire crystal clear thinking and energy. I never gave a hoot about my periods. I'd have happily turned them off if I could (not that they bothered me usually), but now I'm about to say goodbye to them I'm quite nostalgic.