Don't get me started on sexist mothers. I really, seriously, could write a book.
My DH was a SAHD. He did the lot. I have always been totally crap at anything domestic bar cooking. I had my own business, ran it from home. This meant I got a lot of quality time with our DCs, but did nothing round the house. When I had my second DS I worked until the Monday, gave birth on the Friday.
DH gets sick and, eventually, dies. DCs still at primary school. I was close to them emotionally, that was fine, but God how I struggled with games kit, coffee mornings, all the stuff most of the other mums had been doing for years. I tried to explain both to mums who raised their eyebrows and the school that I was seriously out of practice with all this basic stuff. And of course my DC and I were all struggling with our loss.
And all too quickly the judginess and spiteful gossip started. It went on and on. The school was appalling, even raising questions about my parenting.
My bereavement counsellor was utterly brilliant. Said from her perspective I was in the position of a man whose wife had died. Naturally I struggled with conventional female stereotypes. Made me understand that if I'd been a bereaved man caring alone for 2 small children all the school gate mums would be praising my courage. As it was, forgetting a reading book became a banging offence.
She stopped me from worrying what nasty sexist women thought. And it was all women. No man I know joined in. I made friends with mothers who didn't judge me but the hurt runs deep, as you can probably tell.