My neighbour came over today to tell me that he had been watching me through my bedroom window

[CreepyNeighbour]

I have logged it with the community policing team.

He called over with post for the previous occupant of his house who is a friend of mine. I said I would pass it on then he asked if he could come in for a cup of tea. It was very odd as I have only ever spoken to him twice before on the street but I said OK and invited him in. I have recently moved house and suspected he wanted a nosey as mine is a new build. Made him tea and sat down in the living room, he made small talk about my new house for a minute then asked if I had moved because of him. I had no idea what he meant so asked him and he said he thought I knew he had a thing for me. I burst out laughing and said I hadn't a clue and assured him that wasn't why I moved. Then he said that he used to watch me through my bedroom window when I would do my make up and sometimes when my curtains were shut there was a gap he could see through. I tried not to freak out and told him that I had to get ready for work and asked him to leave . he kept asking for reassurance that he hadn't made me uncomfortable?? I said I hadn't a clue he had been doing it. He made a joke about only having a hairy man to look at now (new resident of my old house) and I laughed and told him I really had to go and get ready for work. He knows that I know where he works and asked if we had any friends in common and I said I didn't think so(we do). I think he was wondering if I was likely to tell this to anyone that knew him. (I fucking will be doing!) I got him to leave and then it dawned on me that I had thought I had seen him lying on his bed in a peculiar position facing my bedroom one day months ago. At the time I took a photo and asked my friend if it looked like he was watching me. Neither of us were sure so I just assumed he was watching a movie on his bed or something and I closed my curtains.(it was daytime) I phoned my friend today after work to tell her about his visit and she convinced me to phone the police, because he works in a leisure centre with access to changing rooms.so I have done and they've made a report. I have felt like vomiting all day long. What a scummy bastard. And he is also married.I am so angry. The fact that he sought me out to come and tell me this!

Eugh the guy sounds like a total creep. What did the police say...will they be contacting him about it?

The police have been. They said they will send it up their chain and hopefully be able to contact the council and stress the importance of ensuring all police checks are being done properly and that they have a sufficient method of checking changes rooms etc so that it wouldn't be easy for someone to be a peeping tom. They can't name him to his employers or indicate who their concern is about as no crime has been committed so he isn't techncally guilty of anything. I just said that I wanted it on record that he had done this incase something ever happened to someone else while he was at work. Police said I did the right thing and to contact them if I have any more concerns.

They didn't mention contacting him at all so I am assuming not.

Well done you! I'm glad they're taking it seriously X

Is spying on a neighbour through a closed window not a crime then? Or is it just because you can't prove it?

Is spying on a neighbour through a closed window not a crime then?

Not if you are looking out of the window of your own house. If the creepy neighbour is in the OP's garden staring in her window that would be different.

The visit to her house might , and if repeated, be a breach of the peace in Scotland (basically behaviour which we're not sure is a crime but ought to be). Looking out of your own window is not a crime.

Argh so the creep can get away with being a perv as long as it's from inside his house

What are you suggesting then ? The crime of looking out of your window when your neighbour thinks you're a bit pervy?

Stalking, harassment, voyeurism and flashing are all crimes.

we live on top of a hill with a very good view you can see for miles lots of wild birds so hubby bought a very expensive pair of binoculars,spent hours at the upstairs window looking out, they have built four houses in line of view still loads of birds but he dare not use them now for people in the new houses thinking he is spying on them sad really.

If you took a photo of him watching you, he would have seen you do that. He thinks you know what he was doing

How can you see his bed out of interest?

I couldn't see his bed but could see him lying facing the window resting his head on his hand. I've been in that house my friend used to live there and the room is not big, only enough room to walk around a double bed and a bit more at the end for a wardrobe/chest of drawers.

I took the photo on my phone but held it just as if I was texting so he won't have known I was doing it.

OK OP. I sometimes read in my bedroom / play with my phone / listen to the radio during the day in exactly the way you describe with my curtains open. As does my son when he's at home. I'm glad you are not our neighbour.

The neighbour freaked you out coming to your house and talking in the way he did. And it is understandable and reasonable

for you to react the way you did. So far as "spying on neighbours" (which by the way is not a crime) it seems he could equally say the same of you.

lass which is exactly why I shut the curtains and then forgot all about it because I wasn't sure what he was doing so told myself he was watching a DVD or something on his bed which is exactly what I was doing at the time. I didn't do anything about it, I didnt call the police or anything I totally forgot all about it until he came over the other day. His behaviour the other day really unsettled me and I thought it way out of line but even then I wasn't going to do anything until I remembered that he worked in the leisure centre and could have access to changing rooms.

And no, what I did is in no way comparable to what he told me he did.

I didn't do anything about it,

Actually you did. You took a photograph of him. Are you in the habit of taking photographs of your neighbours when they are in their own houses doing nothing, as far as you can see , wrong?

You're really missing the point lass

No I am not missing the point.

There are 2 wrongs here. The neighbour should not have come to OP's door. OP had absolutely no business taking a photograph of her neighbour at the time she did.

Maybe you're right. At the time I thought I was being watched and wanted someone else to confirm it was as I suspected. She couldn't and i wasnt sure I put it out of my mind. As it turns out I was actually right. Personally, given what has now come to light I won't hesitate to get proof if it ever happens again.

Will also add that I have never before or since felt the need to take a photograph of any of my neighbours. This just felt very odd.

What a creep. I'm glad you reported him.

Slightly off topic but I've recently realised how females are socialised to be nice at all times, especially to men. In your case you didn't want him to come in but let him anyway and laughed while told the story of perving on you in your own home. So fucking pissed off about the way girls are taught to defer to men at all times even to the point of ignoring their own instincts.

wemust I know! You are so right. Tbh once he had told me I realised just how brazen this guy was and was terrified that any sign that I was incomfortable would lead him to panic and threaten me so I wouldn't tell anyone. My dcs were in the other room and I just wanted him to leave with least fuss. In my head I thought if he thinks I have no issue then he has no reason hang around reassuring me or to come back at another stage to 'check' on me again.

I think it's obvious you taking a picture because you felt uncomfortable and him watching you and then coming to your new property to tell you about it are totally different things here. You were totally vindicated in calling the police imo.

How are you feeling about it now OP? I think I would be worrying about him coming back

I'm still really freaked out by it. I told my parents today and they are both in shock. My dad is furious. I'm really hoping he has had his thrill and is done with it. A bit concerned that he says he only has a hairy man to look at so will want to seek me out again as he isn't getting his kicks. If that happems i'll be straight back on to the police. Oh BTW I also told the police that I took a photo of him and sent it to my friend, they said nothing at all about that.

Oh good, another "user" troll.