"Every woman is beautiful" and feminism

[OneFlewOverTheDodosNest]

Lately I've been frustrated at the line "every woman is beautiful" that's being held out as something that's really ground breaking and aspirational but I have this really negative reaction to it.

I see the Dove adverts promoting beauty in all shapes and sizes and all I can think is it's just the tyranny of a looks focused culture. Am I being a total cynic? I can't quite articulate it, but it almost seems to me that the message is "Every woman CAN be beautiful and therefore every SHOULD prioritise being beautiful. Being beautiful is important."

I remember as a (gangly and awkward) teenager my DM saying "Well looks aren't everything" when I was upset about not being glamorous and at the time it was SO hurtful, but now I think she may have a point. I can't imagine the advertisers would go for it, but surely the message is some people are beautiful and others aren't, but everyone is important / worthy of respect / of value?

I'm really not articulating it well, but does anyone else get what I'm trying to say? Why is being beautiful the most important thing?

I agree MrsK.

I have been tempted to do the passive aggressive thing of apologising for somehow misleading people to think that I give a fuck about what they think about me ... So far I haven't quite said it but it's close ...

I hate the bulshit Dove ads. They drive me crazy.

I really like the work of beauty redefined they say things like "you are capable of more than looking hot"

OP I agree with you. I am trying to articulate my point and I think the reason I find it uncomfortable is within that message there is an assumption that "being beautiful" is a goal that all women should aspire to, and an assumption that all women do actually strive to "be beautiful" and there is an underlying message of all the little women coming together and making themselves attractive, giggling together and thinking about their appearance. It's just boring and patronising. The whole "real women" notion at the moment is vomit inducing. I'm all for a fairer and more accurate representation of women in the media, but a campaign focussed on cherry picking women who don't fit the usual beauty norm and then elevating them with a good blow dry and a power lipstick and cheering from the sidelines like a proud mother is just embarrassing and patronising. We all have eyes. Celebrate women and people for their strengths. Don't take a perfectly capable, standard looking woman and coo over her looks. I hope that makes sense ish?

I agree with you OP. Also, I hate the way being slim/skinny is seen as some kind of achievement/virtue! In the genetic accident that IS life, some of us were born to be tall, short, naturally skinny or weighty, misshapen, different, NOT the "perceived beautiful". The women in my family have a tendancy for being pear shaped. That's how it is. That's how I am. I've dieted and exercised and been various weights in my life but, my basic shape is a 5ft 5, pear.

I'm not beautiful either. Attractive, yes. But never beautiful.

OP I totally agree. Rather than broadening the definition of "beautiful" to include a more diverse range of women they should be removing the idea of "beautiful" as an aspiration altogether.

Of course they are scared that they won't sell which is the bottom line.

But if I owned a soap empire I would release an ad where it started off in typical Dove stylee, with all types of semi naked women (fat, thin, all different races) floating coyly across the screen then BAM! A message comes up saying "Screw that! It's soap. It cleans your armpits. End of".

I like to think it would sell.

Interesting. I am intelligent, funny, all kinds of ace things and I have always felt at a massive disadvantage in life (and that is an understatement) because I am not beautiful. In a world where beautiful wasn't the benchmark, I'd be the fucking Queen! perhaps as well, really

Misses the point completely but what is Dove anyway? I've never bought any of their products.

I'm personally struggling so much right now over my looks. I'm 2 stone overweight and am undeniably ugly. I hate myself and I hate my husband for trying to have sex with me - how can he be so desperate? I also have a questionable personality.

Where are my adverts?

I use a Dove deoderant, Lass.

It is effective for my not terribly active lifestyle, and has an inoffensive scent which doesn't clash with my chosen perfume.

I'm not sure that they would be interested in using that as an advertising campaign, though.

MrsWooster that's exactly how I feel. I am clever and funny and creative and kind but I constantly feel worthless because I've got a face like a potato. I know I will never be beautiful and that's okay, but it's not okay with 'society' which seems to think I have to be striving the whole time to attain beauty.

Hi, Buzz Magazine. You've posted that clip on two or three threads now, with the same c&p post each time. None of the threads was about the music industry.

I see this as just another example of the media/society trying to pretend to that the way women are viewed and treated has gone through a huge change when actually there is still such a long way to go. I agree that the 'every woman is beautiful/celebrate your natural beauty at any age etc' messages just reiterate the idea that the way women look is/should be a very high priority.

The Dove adverts in particular irritate me (although as pointed out upthread the thread where they asked MN for volunteers got some brilliant responses) and I find that actually the idea that the women on those adverts are what they class as 'real' women with imperfections etc (when clearly they are very attractive women) makes me feel like I must be even less attractive than I thought.

I find it interesting that if a woman states a fact about a skill that they lack (eg not very fit/not easily motivated/have a poor sense of direction, don't understand technology, not academic etc) people will either agree or point out that this is unimportant and that the person has other skills. If a woman makes a negative comment about her physical appearance friends will tell her she is wrong and often others will look uncomfortable like she has broken some sort of taboo.

In the words of The Incredibles, "when everyone is special; no one is". Either everyone is beautiful in which case it's a non-concept and we can all shut up about it. Or, some people are physically beautiful and its either important or not.

We all bloody know what Dove mean, "awwww if you use enough product you too can look good. Not model good clearly but good enough". Urgh.