Working Parents

[KittyOShea]

I haven't posted in here before but definitely describe myself as a feminist.

Over the last few weeks I have seen a number of depressing threads on here about wives prioritising their husband's work or calculating their salary excluding childcare costs (only their salary not their joint salary). It seems the husband's career always comes first.

Maybe this is bad form as its a thread inspired by other threads but it's lead me to think about the societal influences that mean it's always the woman who goes part time/ quits work.

I should say here that DH and I were unable to have DC so we have not had to tackle this one but when we were ttc we had decided that if someone had to step back in terms of work it would be him as I am the higher earner and he is much more domesticated than I am. Is this so unusual in the 21st century?

Is there anything we as a society can do that changes this way of thinking?

With Chimp communities the identity of a baby's fathers isn't known, fertile female chimps mating with any number of males - unlike say with gorillas & humans (generally speaking)

The last time I was reading about early nomadic humans the thinking was that women did the majority of the gathering and communal living meant that sexual partners were not exclusive. Only when humans became civilised (I just mean started to live in towns by this) did paternal identity become an issue because of the ownership of land and inheritance etc.

I agree though that 'natural' is too often seen as 'good' as if early humans had it sorted with their 20 year lifespans.

I just made it sound like there is a consensus on earlh human life. I meant to say that they theory I was reading about suggested that, not that this is undisputed.

"agree though that 'natural' is too often seen as 'good' as if early humans had it sorted with their 20 year lifespans."

Yup. Another exasperating thing about evo psych MRAs. Never seen them suggesting they will eschew modern medicine, pubs and the internet to go with their "a woman's place is in the cave" schtick.

When we had our first DC my husband earned five times what I earned.

Gender roles and food seem to be the bits of early human life that make me the most angry.

Of course we can't help but look at early societies through the prism of a patriarchal society. So the small sculptures of the female form that are such a feature of early culture were mainly thought to have been made by men, because men make things. They're now suggested to have been made for women, by women. Particularly when women were in the late stages of pregnancy. Some if them are centred around pregnancy and birth and are surprisingly accurate.

Gender roles and food seem to be the bits of early human life that make me the most angry.

Sounds interesting, any more ? The availability of food in the Great Apes (at least) seems to be a very important factor in determining their mating behaviours.

I meant to say the obsession with 'natural' foods annoys me in a similar way. Early humans didn't have bread = I must stop eating gluten. The whole idea that everything that happened in the past was better is very frustrating.

Indeed, I should imagine for the earliest humans, life must basically have been short and brutal - mind, still is for a lot of people.