Hello darlin'

[WaitrosePigeon]

Paying for petrol yesterday evening. Greeted with Hello darlin'. I know it's probably innocent from their stance but I cannot stand it.

I go to this petrol station regularly so I rather not cause a fuss but it's just so patronising, isn't it?

It's slighly better than "Smile darling".

But it's a bit presumptuous, if this person doesn't know you. One calls one's loving partner 'darling' not a random stranger.

Did they perhaps think that they know you?

How about "Morning sunshine!" is that patronising?

I use that quite a bit.

Yes.

Partial, do you use that in class to your students? If so, I'm guessing that you are going for patronising, right?

I don't mind "hello darlin' " as long as it's in the same tone of voice as "hello mate" used to a male customer. Strictly speaking I am not, and never would be, their darling but then again the guy behind me probably isn't their mate either. It just means "I recognise you, female/male person". There are class and regional connotations. I think it's done better in those places where everyone is "love" regardless of age, sex or any other distinguishing feature - but again there's a lot in the tone.

I only ever hear"hello darlin'" in a cockney accent.

I usually find a nice straight fwd "hello" works well.

I don't have a problem with it. All the people I know of who would say it also say 'hello mate' or 'alright pal' to men.

It's just friendly to a lot of people.

And same as lots of women I know who call everyone 'love' or 'pet,' male and female.

Except if I'm addressing a bunch of students - then it's "hello boys and girls" which is deeply patronising but in an endearing way. I like to think.

As a bloke though the "mate" from strangers grates a bit. I'd imagine I'd find 'darlin' a bit off, but then I could be being a bit stuffy.

I say that to male and females but only the ones I know!
In my northern town though, it's common to be address as love by everybody, regardless of gender. It just means "person". Hello Person. A longer form of saying hello.

Agree with Annie. It's very much the tone that is important.

Awww! I thought you were quoting Conway Twitty who is a total legend

Thanks Lass

Conway

That is one of my favourite songs EVER! Have you heard 'I see the want to in your eyes'?

OhShut, Conway is classic. I'm sure he wrecked many a relationship in his day. What woman could resist his charm! Even the engaged and married ladies weren't off limits to him

That's half an hour of my life I won't get back, watching Conway Twitty on YouTube.

I am old enough to remember men dressed like that chatting me, as a young teen, up! And it was just normal in society.

I am guilty of adding a darling or a lovely, to my greetings to helpful strangers, it's the way we talk here. As someone says, it means Person.

Though the best is when using public transport.

I always imagine new bus drivers in the Valleys feeling inwardly proud as their passengers get off and on the bus with a "Thanks, Drive"

They know they are fully fledged and can start on part 2 of their course; "how to be a grumpy bugger".

Annie's absolutely right - it depends on context, tone of voice and regional variation.

When living in Leeds, I saw a 15 stone, 50 year old, tattooed male brickie addressed with the phrase "where to, love?" by a 50 year old male bus driver. Similarly when I'm in London, I don't find "Hello darling" delivered in the same tone of voice "hello mate" offensive. Now I live in the south west, I have to admit it's taken quite a bit of getting used to being addressed "hello lover!" but again, weirdly, down here that's a sex-neutral form of address!

On the other hand, if someone in a workplace meeting said "Can you take the minutes, darling?" I'd be apoplectic! Because in that context, delivered by a colleague, it could be nothing other than a deliberate attempt to patronise and belittle me. (I hasten to add I cannot in a million years imagine any of my colleagues doing that.)

Round here "darling" isn't that common, but shopkeepers, bus drivers, etc. will often call people "love".
I find it tends to be men will call women love, women will call men love, but I know in other areas, men will call men love (as above).

Lurcio I am from Leeds and it used to be v common for men to call other men "love" in the same way as "mate". I have always found it v cute.

My postman managed to address me as "darling", "love", "sweetie" and "honey" in the short time he delivered a parcel to me yesterday, DESPITE MY ACTUAL NAME BEING ON THE PARCEL. Maybe he just really likes me...

Round here it's 'alroooiiiiitttt darrrrrrlin'
I don't object to it.
I agree in a professional context I'd flip. But general day to day it's fine imo. It's used the same way as mate is in our area. Ditto sweetheart and love.

You'd never speak to anyone around my parts if you didn't respond to "love". In a personal, village, day to day context I'm fine with it.

In business, no, never.