"Is it for a girl or a boy?"

[ZeldaTheWindBreaker]

I popped into Subway today to pick up a kids' pack for my daughter. Got to the till and was asked, "Is it for a boy or a girl?"

I was a bit confused, but after a few moments clicked on to the fact that it was so the assistant could put the food into the 'correct' bag. I was quite uncomfortable and just said it doesn't matter, any would do. Assistant looked at me strangely and said she had to know for stock reasons.

There was a queue of about 6 people behind me (and she was the only staff member in the front of the shop) so I didn't feel as though I could press any sort of point without causing unnecessary inconvenience and extra stress for the assistant.

So i just said girl. And instantly felt annoyed with myself.

The bag is white and has r2d2 on it ...

So not pink and flowery as I was expecting due to her asking if it was for a boy or girl. I wonder what the 'boy' one looks like, if anyone could enlighten me?

My question is - how would you have reacted in this situation if you were me? Baring in mind the poor woman looked stressed out and there was a large queue of people behind you waiting to be served.

I'm still feeling annoyed at myself and wonder if I would have perhaps felt braver to refuse to give my daughter's gender for the sake of 'getting the right bag' if there weren't as many people behind me.

It seems to be a Subway thing with this promotion. Not even the tiniest clue why, because there's no obvious difference.

I've emailed Subway though.

Great idea about emailing, thank you. I agree, it wouldn't actually have been fair to get into it with the assistant. She was acting under instructions, and had to ask for stock reasons.

I do know that Subway is a Franchise though so it may just be particular store owners who have their staff asking boy or girl, as opposed to it occurring in all subway shops

I doubt that's the case though, unless you all live in my little town?

Ok so there are 8 bags, why cant they just number the bags on a display screen and say "which bag?"

Because you'd be there for approx 10 min per child as they tried to choose (45 min if it were my kids).

A choice of whichever 2 they've got in stock would be fine though.

Or they could have just used whichever bag they had on the top of the pile (lucky dip effect).

My dd is an Avengers fan. You can never ever get anything with Black Widow. I can see that she is a slightly more minor character, alongside Hawkeye, but there's been plenty of stuff with basically all of the case except Black Widow.

Still the good thing about the 'where's Rey' controversy is that it might (maybe, possibly) mean that toys for cool girl characters from movies etc are more likely to be produced in the future.

Not that that's likely to change the current trend for gendered toys, despite the harm that causes.

Black widow is not a minor character!! Especially not in Age of Ultron!

Shes also my DS2s favourite :)

When I'm asked if something is for a girl or boy I answer yes, it is for a girl or boy. They repeat, I repeat, they repeat, I repeat, they get fed up and realise I'm not going to go away so ask if I want x or y. DH refuses to go to subway with me anymore.

You could just say "it doesn't matter, it's for a child, they have toys in them, either is fine"

Which would save time and blood pressure and would perhaps get your point across to the assistant as opposed to making a point which, as you apparently know , from past experience, will miss the mark.

I hate this with a passion. I walked into a shop the other day and asked if they stock children's gloves. Once the lady had led me to the rack she asked if they were for a boy or girl. I looked at her like this and said it didn't really make any difference since my child has two hands with five fingers on each. I didn't want to make too much of a fuss because it's a small independent retailer. It it had been a chain I'd have ranted merrily.

I also bite my tongue on facebook selling pages with the boy/girl thing

but what if you get the gender wrong chloe?

McDonalds didn't ban it, they did it for ages. I don't think they do it any more in the UK but they do in Germany. However they tend to do the numbering thing here, too, so DS just chooses the number of the toy he wants.

I always say any toy is fine, I nearly always get a look.

I had my DD in a private hospital and they provided baby clothes for while you were there - there was a communal changing unit with drawers underneath in each room (4 mums per room).
I put DD in a blue baby grow, and got told off by one of the nurses. Apparently if everyone did that, they would run out of clothes for the boys (there weren't actually any boy babies in our room).

Once the lady had led me to the rack she asked if they were for a boy or girl. I looked at her like this  and said it didn't really make any difference since my child has two hands with five fingers on each. I didn't want to make too much of a fuss because it's a small independent retailer. It it had been a chain I'd have ranted merrily

Why not, whether it was an independent shop or a chain store, simply say " It doesn't matter, any colour will keep small hands warm".

You can still get your point across, and, I think , in a way that is clear without being patronising.

Or is it simply more satisfying to "rant merrily" at chain store assistant who is just doing her job?

The assistant is doing her job. I can think of at 3 friends who have small daughters, 2 of whom would not want or like gender neutral clothing, even in gloves. The other is of the, doesn't matter as long as it does the job persuasion.