Sexist conditioning starts young doesn't it?

[AradiasDaemon]

My DS is 4, started reception in September. Up till then he has never had any negativity from us or from extended family (though had to virtually gag FIL occasionally) about girls or women. If he liked something, (eg toys or when he fell in love with a pink kids handbag) we have never expressed any judgement and he's never seen things as 'just for girls' or 'just for boys'.

Now he's recently started to speak in a derogatory way about anything he perceives as 'for girls'. Such as using a pink cup. Ffs! Or saying that boys are so much better than girls at X. We've been pulling him up on it every time and DH has been making a point of talking about it with him when he does.

There is a definite split socially at school and the girls and boys only seem to play with kids of the same gender but I wasn't expecting to hear this shit come out of his mouth so young!

It has opened DH's eyes to the conditioning that takes place socially. He has discovered feminism with me as I have talked a lot with him as I have had my own eyes opened over the last few years, so I'm glad DS at least has a positive feminist male role model in his life. Still depressed the shit out of me though, I have to admit.

He's only 4 ffs! No wonder we live in a patriarchal society.

Grimb!e I'm 28 and feel like it is worse than it was in my youth. I just hope Let Toys be Toys and Let Clothes be Clothes continue the good work as they are bringing about much needed change.

My nephew is very quiet and sensitive and likes 'pretty' things and his family (apart from his mum) hate it. His grandparents (dp's parents) tell him he can't have certain things; I've heard them discuss what a 'wuss' he is; his dad went mad recently because dneph showed an interest in the wrong thing. I feel so sorry for him. Dp's parents are always telling my 18month old "what a pretty girl" she is. If she has a temper tantrum it's because she's a "typical girl." She wanted my purse once "because she's a little girl". What does that even mean? Their compulsion to keep stating and reinforcing her sex is like a mental illness IMO. The worst is when mil goes on one of her rants about how little girls are "bitches" (ands fil agrees).

I've heard a few parents at groups I take dd to, talking about how boyish their sons are. How they only smile at women because they are boys; how much more physical they are than girls - in my experience of babies aged from 6 months to approx 2 years, there's no difference in how much they run about or how they behave but parents will see their boy doing a lot of running and comment on it. I genuinely spend a lot of time chasing my dd as she runs off all over the place, but it does not get the comments. I think comments about babies' 'flirting' are a bit sick too. They make my stomach heave a bit. Dp's parents always say my dd flirts with her granddad - "Typical girl. All the girl's like granddad." I always think, 'eww' and if any of these children turn out to be homosexual how will this talk of their flirting be explained?

play with dolls and like Frozen.

You haven't lived until you've seen an out of tune 2 year old (of either sex) belting out let it go complete with twirls and dramatic arm movements.

I too was horrified to hear the stuff DS came out with after a few months at school. Not sure if he has grown out of it/less interested or just knows now to not mention it at home in case it starts me off in another rage lecture about how no colour 'belongs' to any particular group of people and he has a week of being given the one pink plate in the house to prove it :D

I'd agree with the above, sadly there are still idiots out there teaching their kids all this stuff before they even start school. Would also agree with above that as an older mum, I think sexism is more prevalent than when I was younger - any girl dressed all in pink and going to school in a princess dress would have been considered a bit extreme by most. There weren't any pink toys (basic things like the preschooler stacking cups) like there are now. I am glad I don't have a girl as I think it must be hard to navigate.