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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Why "Feminism" why not "Equality"?

27 replies

RedMapleLeaf · 17/12/2015 17:28

This is what two of my colleagues were asking me. I explained that different definitions of feminism exist, but that a good starting point is that feminism promotes equality of opportunity (social, financial etc) whatever your sex.
They agreed but said, "surely that's just common sense?" to which I replied that I agreed but unfortunately in the experience of many women it's not reality.
They said, "but why 'feminism' why not 'equality for both men and women'?" to which I explained that the emphasis on women is because for hundreds of years the balance has been in favour of men, and that it's the historical and overwhelming discrimination against women that needs addressing. Similar as how an emphasis is needed for gay rights or rights for black people but not heterosexuals or white people.

They didn't agree with this, because men are discriminated against too, e.g. with childcare rights. So my reply was, "fine, society can address more than one inequality at a time".

Finally they turned to how one had said to a female colleague earlier that day, "after you, ladies first, so what about that huh?". And I said, good point, that needs addressing and we'll get around to that as soon as we've sorted out the imbalance in rape statistics and FGM and education for girls...

One of them said, "well, there's not that much sexism around these days, it's all sorted" and I said, "well perhaps from your perspective, but then again you're a white, heterosexual, well-educated male so perhaps you need to defer to the judgement of other groups of society on some things?".

So, reading that, what do you think I could do better next time?

I must admit I was getting a bit exasperated by the end of the conversation.

OP posts:
MardyBra · 21/12/2015 10:33

Place marking for arguments to use against my dinosaur father when he visits for Christmas!

SheldonsSpotOnTheCouch · 21/12/2015 10:46

I usually remember what I should have said after the event. Normally because I'm so shocked to be having to argue the point in the first place. Why?

And yes grimbletart. Some men hate the fact that women are no longer submissive. I imagine there was some furore too when rape within marriage was criminalised in the 90s. That's the 1990s, not the 1890s. Shocking that it was legal and acceptable for a man to rape his wife until so recently.

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