Informal term for women?

[GingerPCatt]

I was chatting to a friend last night and we were trying to come up with an alternative informal word to women. I don't like calling my friends girls as we are in our 30-40s but saying "had a lovely time women" sounds way to formal. Ladies is the same. It feels too formal. I need a grown up version of girls. Any suggestions?

Good morning ladies and gentlemen is a bit different to "let the man pass you, dear" to your child in a queue though - do you perceive man as agressive/rude in that context and expect the parent to use "gentleman"?

I would actually say to a child "let the lady/gentleman through" but I am very old and very old fashioned.

I would use lady/gentleman or man/woman. I would never mix the terms.

The 'ladies and gentlemen' question is one that comes up in my work as well - well, it comes up in that I overthink it! I used it used it all the time when lecturing to undergraduates, and I've been deliberately trying to stop it after reading studied about 'stereotype threat' and the way girls and young women perform less well on tasks when they'be been reminded they're in a group which is stereotyped as less talented and competent. I agree it comes naturally - took rather an effort to keep remembering to say 'everyone' or something equivalent.

it's also a bit naff to my ears

As is "let the woman go first" to my ears. Thinking more on it for me it would come across as trying to make a point.

If I hear a parent saying "let the lady go first" it certainly does not make me think I'm part of an oppressed group.

Would you think someone trying to make a point if they said "let the man go first"?

What's so bad about making a point, anyway?

Good Point Betrand!

Sorry, Bertrand. Wasn't trying to make a point about your name.

It's another of those woman-putter-downers, isn't it? How very dare you have an opinion........

I don't see it that way, BR

I do "make a point" of trying to eg say "look at that motorbike driver, isn't she going fast?" or whatever - because much the rest of the world, including me if not careful, defaults to male.

So I w

..would be really keen to see if Lass does think the same "point" is being made by using men and, either way, why it's "bad" to make a point,

Actually, think I mean "girl putter downers" [girl]

I make points all the time. I think it's really important.

I say chaps, people or peeps in that situation. I don't have a problem with women in a group choosing to refer to themselves as girls though it's a bit cringy. It obviously doesn't make it magically OK for a man to refer to his adult female colleagues or employees as girls, just as my mother referring to herself as a daft old biddy wouldn't make it OK for her GP to echo her.

I do agree that in some situations publically referring to woman you don't know as a woman rather than a lady can have a weirdly aggressive air to it - it's a hangover from an earlier age when it would be a clear insult.

I believe Lass would see a man saying the same as "making a point" as well.

I disagree with lass regularly but don't think she's trying to put down her own sex here.

"Ooh look, there's an ant, shall I step on him?"

"No dear, most castes of ant species are female; if you see a male, he'd most likely be flying. And look, now she's gone. Isn't it nicer just to let her go on her way?"

In a formal (work) event then gender neutral terms should always be used: everyone, people, folks, person, human, individual, and job roles should not be gendered e.g. police officer not policeman. Language shapes how we think and women have fought for gender neutral language to be used with good reason.

Guys is not gender neutral, in the same way that 'man' is not gender neutral and yet historically man or mankind was used as the gender neutral term. I thought we'd moved on from that and now there is the emergence of 'guys'. It's removing women from the equation again, making us invisible. If you want to be informal use 'folks', it's more British and is gender neutral.

*"Ooh look, there's an ant, shall I step on him?"

"No dear, most castes of ant species are female; if you see a male, he'd most likely be flying. And look, now she's gone. Isn't it nicer just to let her go on her way?"*

Just reading 'Reindeer Girl' by Holly Webb to DD2 and I have now discovered that Father Christmas's Reindeer are all female. The males lose their antlers in the autumn, the females keep theirs until after their calves are born (so over winter) so if you see a reindeer with antler at Christmas time she's female.

Most people default to male for all animals, DH even does it for pets when he knows they are female. Grrr. Luckily the DC have been taught to correct him loudly.

I disagree with lass regularly but don't think she's trying to put down her own sex here

No. I have a different opinion. I would think it odd to be addressed as "the woman " . I would not say "the man" or "the woman" in the circumstances I suggested. I would find it as odd for a man to call later me "this woman"

I agree with AnyoneButSanta's point.

It's another of those woman-putter-downers, isn't it? How very dare you have an opinion........

Indeed Bert How dare I have an opinion which goes against the grain.