Co-operative Housekeeping ?

[EleanorHoward]

Hi all! I'm new to Mumsnet, not a mother myself but a 25 year old woman living in London and interested in feminism, architecture (my profession) and family life in the city.

I did a quick search on 'housekeeping', which returned a LOT of results and seems, understandably, to be a hot topic on Mumsnet. The main thing that struck me is that modern mothers (and to some extent, fathers) are expected by society and themselves to have a successful career and still uphold the duties involved in reproductive labour - domestic chores etc etc, unless they can be outsourced to a domestic worker.

It got me thinking about alternatives to how most of us live, in particular the historic example of co-operative housekeeping, pioneered by American feminist Melusina Fay Pierce in the nineteenth century.

www.spatialagency.net/database/peirce

The question I want to ask is do you think we could take aspects of this idea and come up with a way of sharing household duties in order to save time and money?

Does anyone know of an example of this being done at the moment? Logistics aside, how would you feel about, for example, sharing cooking duties with neighbours?

I'd be really interested to hear any opinions on this.

Ellie

And if you live in a situation where everyone doesn't pull their weight then they aren't the ones who are going to be enthusiastically taking in a nieghbours' ironing in exchange for free cooking, are they? It will simply circle back to the people doing the wife work in the first place.

See also matrilineal structures. All that does is spread more work across more women.

I can see the point for lone parent households though.

"But there already is a good way of sharing household duties. It's called getting everyone who lives in the house to pull their weight."

But if you can share with more people, that makes life easier, no? So for example, cooking a meal once a fortnight, rather than every other day. Or looking after two toddlers rather than one when it's your turn to do childcare, then having more childfree time another day.

Cooking a meal once a fortnight for a large number of people, some of whom I might not know particularly well, would be far more of a chore than cooking for 3 people every other night.

At least in the latter case there is the option of beans on toast and fruit if I really can't be bothered.

Some people have been doing this for years it's a very good idea.

I often go round my friends house and clean up, or she comes round here and does mine
There's never a professional element though.
I can remember when your neighbours were an extension of your home.
Helped in emergencies, took kids, cooked a pot in times of need. They were good family friends in streets all over towns.

So it can and does work, but not as a cooperative any more.
People are too busy and organised.

It also did not help that you can only pay people for childcare if they are registered. In the old days(pre 2006) you could pay your neighbour to look after your children whilst you worked.

@ LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett:

Actually, I had something in mind where the daughters stay with their mothers, but the sons do move out.
Sort of like most mammals do it, actually.

Men's houses and laundry and food would then be men's problem. I am sure they would be able to cope. Monks apparently manage.

Well presumably single men and male gay couples manage too.

What is there to stop a heterosexual couple organising a fair division of chores?

We do this a bit with mil who lives next door. She prefers to make slow / old fashioned meal, preserves, knits socks and hats etc. We do more curries, bung ut in the oven meals, obv house and garden maintenance for both houses, wood etc.
Mostly it works well and its nice to get a home baked loaf or buns unexpectedly, or for the toddler to go over there for a hour while the baby naps etc.
I don't think it lessens the work load just varies it.

I don't think it lessens the work load just varies it

Yes, I would agree with that Winchester But the work is still the work. And I suspect women would still be doing the lion's share of it.

Vestal if I'd stayed a moment longer with my mother it wouldn't have been chores we were divviying up, it would have been jail time . But of course men could cope with their own grunt work. They can right now. So why aren't they doing it?

Oh I'd say my OH gets the worse deal as he is a pt shap (as am I) so does his share of housework and childcare but he is also the strongest so does 90% of the hard labour jobs as well. As the kids are getting older and my spd is finally easing off he is able to do these while I have the kids (although often has the eldest with him) so it is evening up a bit, but the past couple of yrs its had to be done during naps and after bedtimes.

"Monks apparently manage."

Yes well, they wear baggy clothes in dark colours, don't they.

Lonny

I agree, it doesn't lessen the workload it just varies it.
I have friends who look after each others houses, kids, husbands, cooking, cleaning etc. They are very close and people do mistake them for sisters.

I can't see it working in households where both work, everything is rota between husband and wife and planned to the nth degree.
It does work well for sahp's and those in a close network of family and friends.

WRT the cheap food, it's not exactly cheap, we're very rural, nothing is cheap, but my local butcher / baker convenience store cooks food to order. When Fil was unwell last year he would often phone for a chicken to be ready for 1, I'd turn up at 12 & put the veg on. We then ate together.

One of my friends lived in Bradford for a while and often bought cheap home cooked curriesat her corner shop. It definitely happens in Yorkshire

I'm with looney my preferred method to tackle this is to get everyone who lives in the household pulling their weight.

Easier said than done though. Will probably take generations to fix.

I'm lucky with dh. His parents shared housework, they utterly adore each other and do everything together including housework.

I still feel the weight of wife work though as his standards are lower than mine (and mine are pretty crap).

I'm trying to raise both my kids (dd & ds) to know how to cook, clean iron etc.

The problem with getting everyone in the household to pull their weight is who does the "getting" fall to? Not who it should fall to, who does it actually fall to? Thread after thread on MN tells us where the expectation and actuality for that lies.