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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Is this rape?

116 replies

FayKorgasm · 02/11/2015 22:02

Anyone watching this on BBC? Some very worrying opinions and stories.

OP posts:
QueenStromba · 13/11/2015 11:38

Yeah, if the Met's version of SVU rarely see it then it must be a vanishingly small percentage of rapes. I also think that most rape victims probably don't think of themselves as such either - I spent four years kidding myself that I hadn't been raped and I've seen plenty of threads on here where women are just coming to the realisation that they were raped by friends or partners.

Baconyum · 13/11/2015 11:39

No I don't blame the girls I blame their parents/schools/society. As I said the very blonde girl had me really worried.

Elendon · 13/11/2015 11:41

Sorry, Baconyum, I didn't mean to imply you blamed them. Yes, I too was worried for the young blonde haired woman.

QueenStromba · 13/11/2015 11:42

The blonde girl to me was very obviously someone who has been raped but hasn't admitted it to herself.

Baconyum · 13/11/2015 11:45

Queen, more than that she's completely normalised sexual abuse that's what makes me think CSA. She was so out of step even with others on the programme who's boundaries were blurry.

Just terrifying!

No problem elendon.

Elendon · 13/11/2015 11:52

It sometimes takes a while for this to sink in.

Regarding my first sexual experience, I wanted it to stop as it was too painful, I expressed that verbally and physically. I was told, you can't stop now, and he continued. He was much bigger than me, so I let him continue. This happened in 1979, when I was eighteen, I only realised that this was rape about 7 years ago.

QueenStromba · 13/11/2015 11:53

Not unlikely unfortunately - there'd probably be 2-3 CSA survivors in a group that size.

ChunkyPickle · 13/11/2015 11:54

'I think this was one of those times where you go along with it because you can't be arsed' and from another 'yes, we've all been in situations where you can't be bothered but think "whatever"'

What is it you think that they can't be arsed doing? It's put up the resistance required! Of course they don't want to see it as a threat, but here's what's going through their head:

If I say no, then he'll go on and on, asking, pushing, whining, he'll get angry and flounce, probably go and make up stuff to his mates. I just want to be asleep, I don't want to spend half an hour justifying why I don't want to have sex with him, so it'll be quicker if I just have sex with him.

Since you're happy with the mugger, we'll keep running with that. It's not a mugger any more though, it's a beggar, one of those ones who just won't take no for an answer, and they're next to you, in a room that you're trying to sleep in, and you just want to go to sleep but he keeps asking for a tenner. Do you give him the tenner? Of course you bloody do. And is that beggar certainly guilty of extorting that money? Of course he is.

Same thing. But instead of money, it's putting a penis into a person.

Elendon · 13/11/2015 11:55

Actually, here I go again. I didn't let him continue, he decided to continue, despite me asking him not to.

Baconyum · 13/11/2015 12:01

Elendon I'm so sorry that happened to you Flowers

Elendon · 13/11/2015 12:06

I'd like to give Flowers to QueenStromba.

Thanks, Baconyum.

BuffytheScaryFeministBOO · 13/11/2015 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elendon · 13/11/2015 12:25

The thing is I was really enjoying the experience, up and until that point. On hindsight it's because I'm a human and enjoy sex, for pleasure.

Baconyum · 13/11/2015 12:36

Even victims of violent stranger rape can experience orgasm as a purely physiological response. Doesn't mean its not rape.

QueenStromba · 13/11/2015 12:37

I should not have gotten myself into that situation.
I should not have worn that dress.
I should not have had that last pint.
I should have paid more attention to my drink.
I should not have walked home alone.
I should not have gone home with him.
I should not have given him the wrong idea.
I should not have let him.
I should have let him.
I should have fought back.
I should not have fought back.

We always blame ourselves when actually it boils down to:

He should not have put his penis where it wasn't wanted.

BuffytheScaryFeministBOO · 13/11/2015 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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