Help me to understand gender stereotyping

[ArriettyMatilda]

I've been thinking for a while now about the gender stereotypes forced on our children. It seems to me that, as an adult, gender plays a part in your identity. There are certain issues that do affect men and woman differently (for example puberty or use of contraception). As a woman I never shop in the men's section for clothes, perfume, razors etc, although being female doesn't stop me enjoying different types of films or different foods. I also feel pressure as a woman to shave my legs and I'd feel like I hadn't made an effort if I didn't put make up on for a party. I wouldn't choose a girls name for a boy but but a unisex name is fine. Nevertheless I don't believe that there is anything I couldn't do based on my gender (other than the obvious things one does with gendered body parts). And gender is just one part of many in my identity.

So on one hand being female or male seems to be a part in an adult's identity. But children should just be children? Am I right in thinking pink toys are considered bad because when girls are told pink is their colour they believe they must only play with pink toys, which are usually the more gentle female stereotype toys and may mean they avoid other types of toys. Is there a problem with a construction kit being pink, for example, as long as a child is exposed to a range of other colour toys? Or is is pink only bad of everything a girl owns is pink before she can even make that choice for herself. I really admire the work of let clothes be clothes and let toys be toys, as I do believe companies should be challenged regarding their efforts to impress certain messages on to girls only or boys only. Especially message regarding looks as I believe this should not be important for girls or boys. And that certain toys are for each gender, when they can be played with by all.

Please feel free to pick apart my post and challenge my language and understanding. Is there anything more that I need to be aware of? I'd like to be a enlightened and I'd like to help my child be who they want to be without worrying about gender stereotypes. What can I do to facilitate this and how can I challenge gender stereotypes?

You're right, and I didn't mean it in a victim-blaming 'girls need to learn to stand up for themselves' way. But there are lots of positive things that boys are encouraged to do (playing outdoors, getting messy, science, history, etc). I'm basing that on stereotypes in toy and clothes marketing and the images children are presented of themselves. I take your point about animal care, dancing and cooking but I'd like to see boys knowing those are options for them too.

But yes, aggression is definitely the trait I'd most like to avoid encouraging in either DD or DS!

Yes, I don't think feminine things should be reserved for girls. I have a boy and a girl, and I've tried to bring both up to be more inclined towards feminine values, but agree that some masculine coded things are also valuable.