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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Nice Tits!

82 replies

gaggiagirl · 03/09/2015 17:16

Dont know if I'm posting this in the right place, just wanted to share and vent.
Walking into the main gates of a big hospital today I hear a car engine very close to me and a horn beep. I turn around to see a car with four lads in it about 17 or 18 years old. Windows wound down. Driver shouts "NICE TITS" then toots and speeds off.
I was walking holding the hand of my four year old daughter and I'm 35 weeks pregnant. How dare they? I'm just a bit horrified really and wanted to get it out.

OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 07/09/2015 18:53

Good man breakingdad quite right you are too!

OP posts:
shovetheholly · 08/09/2015 09:28

You know what's nice? Having this 'conversation' without someone saying 'Oh, but I quite enjoy it, you know? It's nice to get the validation!'

I always feel like throwing things when that happens. It assumes that enjoyment is something that isn't conditioned by social mores. I tend to go into explanations that involve Pavlov's dog at that point and then the other person gets offended Wink.

gaggiagirl · 08/09/2015 22:15

This is nice holly
Funnily enough my sister was just telling me today that some bloke followed her (walking) and told her she had a nice arse when she was also heavily pregnant. Urgh.

OP posts:
Banquo54 · 12/09/2015 08:45

Getting back to the OP, teenage boys are not known for their sensitivity towards others, especially when they are in a group and start behaving as a pack. They have absolutely no idea of the effect their behaviour is having on others, in fact it probably never enters their heads that shouting a comment at a complete stranger is intimidating, and five seconds later they'll have forgotten all about it and moved on to whatever other mindless entertainment is going to amuse them, as they drive around with no particular purpose.

It's all just funny to them, until someone challenges them on their behaviour, when they'l either laugh it off and move away, or become more aggressive towards the challenger, and if they've had a few beers it can escalate into violence, which they'll probably regret later, when they're sober. Incidentally, I have seen similar behaviour from groups of females out for the night in town, after a few drinks, when usually the majority of others around them are in a similar state, and I have felt intimidated if I've been on my own, just by their inebriated behaviour.

But whoever' doing it, it IS intimidating, whether it's a comment about a member of the opposite sex's appearance, accent, skin colour, or anything else. Advising someone to ignore it is understandable, but that doesn't tackle the underlying problem of a lack of respect for others.

YonicScrewdriver · 12/09/2015 08:53

"Advising someone to ignore it is understandable, but that doesn't tackle the underlying problem of a lack of respect for others."

Yes, completely agree, which is why it's good that on MN, bald advice to "ignore it" is less common than on the rest of the internet.

However, ignoring as a decision (not ignoring the hurt and fear of the target) may well be the safest one in many situTions. - if the catcallers are on a building site etc you can report them but if it's a drive by shouting, there's rarely an obvious line of recourse.

YellowJerseyPan · 12/09/2015 09:30

This is rather timely. A couple of weeks ago member of my team at work came to me to complain she had "Nice tits!" said to her by a bunch of teenager boys outside the office. I went out to 'challenge' them and they all denied it. Still gave them a bit of a lecture about respect etc Later that day a rather aggressive dad and his boy came to see me. Yesterday my line manager tells me the dad has made a formal complaint and I am to be 'investigated' for harassing a child. Which in my position is a massive thing.
Nope, you just can't make it up.

YellowJerseyPan · 12/09/2015 11:07

fwiw I've also put this episode in Legal for any advice about anti-social behaviour interventions.

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