I hope you don't mind this thread

[H1idingInPlainSight]

I'm looking for a safe space.

My abusive H stalks me online, and has even found me in OTBT.

Perhaps he won't find me here.

Is that OK?

I think he'll find you, sorry. Do you clear your cookies and change your passwords regularly? Has he installed a keylogger?

I'd suggest Women's Aid from a phone he doesn't know about.

I only post from my work laptop, which is securely protected.

So he knows your passwords? How is he finding you?

Google searches. My first thread was on Relationships. My second, under a name change, was also on Relationships, but then moved to OTBT. As far as we can tell, he had that thread on Watch, so found OTBT more generally.

Hi, I've been posting on your other threads. I found this one because another poster pm'd me that you would be moving here (before you did) so I've been looking out for you.

He won't find you here from your user name but if he can access your laptop he might. You should always clear your history and use incognito browsing.

Does he have your passwords? Change them immediately. If you can't post here safely any more, do what has already been suggested, the freedom programme. They will help you with everything OP.

On the plus side, if you still want to post here as well does it really matter if he can read it. All he will see is how unreasonable he is.

Btw keep that last email from him. It's evidence that he spent thousands on counselling sessions without consulting you and that is proof of his unreasonable behaviour. Also, whatever you do, do not go to any more counselling with him, no matter how much it cost him. That counsellor is on his side and is not interested in helping you. Stay away from him.

Excellent advice from Fairenuff

I'd hate to discourage you from posting - but please be careful if he does trawl the threads not to give away something that gives him an advantage

Can we help you to leave him ?

Thank you. I have started to gather RL support now too. I've told my two best friends - one is giving emotional support, the other is helping me think through the practical points. But I'm going to keep posting here, if that's OK, at least until I've left.

I've changed all my passwords - and I'm only posting from my work laptop or work mobile, which should make it impossible for him to hack.

This thread is showing up in Active so you might want to be careful.

I'm so sick of hiding.

I found this in active too. For you. T must be so stressful x

Does he have a keylogger on your device at home?

My ex did this, he detested me being on MN. Hence 'ex'

I don't ever use a home computer. Only a work one. For that very reason.

MN is still public though, remember.

If you get your thread moved to the other place, it is still Google searchable, because it was originally started in a searchable forum, and it keeps the same URL.

I'm giving up. It's too hard. Thank you for everything.

it's tricky but CAN be done, don't let him prevent you from getting the help you need. we could always do what i suggested in my pm?

You're right. Thank you. Let's try that.

Heads Up: If you find op's new thread and want to comment would you mind changing your usernames for it please? The hyper aware cynic in me feels that he could search the history of previous posters to try n find her that way. cheers