I feel humourless

[Hexiegone]

In my social group one of the men has a very sexist, puerile and misogynistic sense of humour. I can't be doing with it and try to avoid him but there have been a couple of times I've pulled him up on it, when what he's said has been so offensive I couldn't not say something. It never stops though (yawn), even when nobody laughs or everyone in the group ignores him he still giggles at himself and carries on

Even though some of the others in the group say to me privately they agree I feel as if it's just me calling him up on it and feel that I'm just going to be seen as a killjoy so I don't do it very often.

Has anyone else managed to get somewhere with a similar situation or is it a lost cause, do you think?

Why is his presence tolerated in the first place?

Just one of the group, I suppose. He was there before I was and he can be really nice at times, it's just I'm finding his 'jokes' more and more unbearable

Have you tried "you're not welcome here when you behave like that". Rather than addressing specific comments, which he will probably just hear through a "mum" filter since he's that type.

The thing is I think some folk aren't too bothered so I don't feel I could speak for them all and say something like that, Grace . That's why I feel a bit humourless, because it's only me and a few of the others who don't like it.

Well he's not welcome by you. You don't have to be the voice of the collective.

How about the 1950's want their jokes back....

You shouldn't feel humourless. It's not funny. In my experience people who use "humour" to excuse nastiness are bullies.

I might have a point, Grace, about him being a bully ... but he can be very nice and kind from time to time, which makes it all the more annoying.

Buffy asking him to explain is giving him the attention he wants. I ignore just about every 'joke' he makes, apart from when he goes too far IMO.

Thank you all for taking the time to post.