Is rape culture real?

[JimBean]

Hi

I wanted to ask some experienced feminists about the concept of "rape culture". I hear the phrase alot these days mainly through social media, and it constantly annoys me because from my perspective it's not real.

It doesn't seem real to me because all the aspects that supposedly create rape culture, are things ive never heard of happening.

For example, alot of people mention victim shaming, things like "she was asking for it" or "well she shouldn't have been dressed like that". Iv'e just personally never heard anyone blame the victim, ever in my life.

Also often i hear the sentence "we need to stop teaching women to protect themselves and start teaching men that rape is not okay". This one in particular irritates me, because well.. i'm male, and i (as well as every other male ive ever met) was taught to think of rape as being about as okay as murder. Like, they say we aren't tought that, and we need to teach young men that it's not okay, but... we do? young men, all young men know it's not okay...? don't they? Perhaps i'm just sheltered, or surrounded by great people who treat rape as the horrific crime it is.

The people posting about it seem to be acting like the majority of people (or at least a large enough portion to make a noticeable social impact on rape victims) treat rape like it's not a big deal, which just doesn't seem right to me. I strive to keep an open mind, and it occurred to me that if so many articles are written about it that perhaps there is something i'm missing.

Thanks, looking forward to some insight :)

[Heckler]

It is noticeable to me, that when there is a serial rapist or rapist/murderer, women are the ones told to stay inside, travel in groups, avoid the area. Wouldn't it be better to say to men that they should stay inside, travel in groups, avoid the area. Then if there are any solitary men in that area they can be checked out.

But it is always women's lives that must be curtailed.

[MrsKCastle]

I've been trying to link news stories, but my tablet is playing up. But if anyone really wants to find out about rape culture, spend 30 minutes with Google.

Use any combination of the following terms:

Rape victim
Blamed
Responsibility/responsible
Cleared of charges
Harassed/embarrassment
Teenage/young
Not guilty
Judge's comments

Pay particular attention to any comments on the news stories that you find.

Then come back and tell us that rape culture doesn't exist.

[MrsKCastle]

To get you started:

Victim's family harrassed

Man cleared after having sex with wrong woman

Judge says 14 year old was partly responsible for her rape

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

Great, now go tell your friends!

[differentnameforthis]

Pick -almost- any thread on here about rape & it will contain victim blaming.

Here, for example

Thing is, op...victim blaming doesn't have to be an outright "she asked for it" it can be in the inference that her clothes were too revealing, or that she was out too late, or she was out on her own, or she shared a taxi with someone, or she used an unlicensed taxi, or she went back to his for a drink, or he went back to hers for a drink.

fattymcfatfat www.mumsnet.com/campaigns/we-believe-you-mumsnet-rape-awareness-campaign

[MrsKCastle]

Yeah, I know- they're the first ones that came up. But the comments sections are particularly enlightening.

[MrsKCastle]

[http://m.bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/8/e004996.full If you don't like the Daily Mail how about the BMJ?]]

[MrsKCastle]

Link

[AuntieDee]

I met a guy who I quite liked. We dated a few times and we got in an amorous situation. Unfortunately when I saw him naked I just didn't find him attractive. I told him I didn't want to sleep with him and he pushed it. Called me a tease, said the fact that I had got naked meant I 'wanted him'. I then got a bit mean pointed out I did but then I didn't when I saw how little he had to offer (he wasn't actually that small but he was out to humiliate me so I fought back). I said I may be a tease but that isn't illegal...

He didn't push it any further thankfully and never spoke of it to any of our friends. The situation could have been very different I guess.

I fancied his face and kissed that but he had an ugly penis and an even uglier attitude.

[AuntieDee]

It was the ugly attitude that was actually the turnoff.

[Laladeepsouth]

OP, I agree. It's absolutely ridiculous. There is no rape culture, especially not on the campuses in the US or those in the UK. This is being pushed by a very radical group of progressives who are indoctrinating our young women and men with basic untruths about our core societies. This is not helping women. (I read within the last few days that at Columbia University (US) recently some female students felt triggered and "marginalized" during a classroom lecture on The Metamorphoses by Ovid -- in other words so primed for oppression that they were not able to handle a class in CLASSICAL MYTHOLOGY and literature! Just one example, of course, but maybe the most stupid I've heard.)

There are, however, a number of cultures across the globe that have developed very real "rape" cultures, where women are kept as chattel. This is an aberration and has not always existed within these cultures -- but they exist and women are suffering and dying every day. The educational and cultural progressives turn a blind eye to these horrors. It's really quite unbelievable!

[Laladeepsouth]

I also would suggest that every one read in depth for herself about the studies, surveys, etc., that produce these statistics that so many trot out. Most of them (the ones that get the highest "rape" culture rating) include questions to the effect of "have you ever been touched in any way that was undesired or uninitiated by you in any situation" -- this, obviously, could include someone attempting to take your arm, kiss you, etc. I'm not making light of real physical abuse or rape. There's no way in the world that one in twenty men is a rapist or a sexual abuser! Well, not in my world. This just confuses the issue and, as they say, is an insult and affront to those who have actually suffered true devastating abuse.

[PuffinsAreFictitious]

Hi lala

Could you give me a list of cultures/places we should care about more than young women on US and UK campuses and elsewhere being raped and ignored? It's always useful when being told not to care about something by someone if they can show me what they want me to care about.

[LagerthaEarlIngstad]

This article by glosswitch about the 'stigma' of rape might be interesting for you op

glosswatch.com/2015/03/22/how-great-is-the-stigma-attached-to-rape/

[Laladeepsouth]

These response are the very reason I KNEW I shouldn't post here.

Puffin, I never stated or implied that I or you or anyone shouldn't care about young women who are raped and ignored. I said that I did not believe that a rape CULTURE exists, in answer to OP's request re what others thought. Asking me to answer questions about and justify something that I didn't say is a very typical tactic (a type of fallacious argument, to be exact) of those with a closed mindset and who won't discuss the issue at hand.

And, Buffy, I said "real physical abuse or rape." Did you misread that as my meaning "or (real? physical?) rape? Surely I didn't need to type "or" in caps. You know perfectly well that I didn't mean "real rape." And I certainly didn't say it! You've used the same tactic I referenced above and have also thrown in a little passive-aggressive personal dig (another type of fallacious argument).

Good job, both of you!!!

[HapShawl]

Well the OP's mind has been changed by this thread an by speaking to his own mother...

[MothershipG]

There's no way in the world that one in twenty men is a rapist or a sexual abuser! Well, not in my world.

How could you possibly know that? I imagine anyone who knows you and is aware of your views would be monumentally unlikely to disclose to you if they had been a victim and rapists don't generally go around admitting to it. You may not have any convicted rapists in your circle but as rape is massively under-reported and even getting to a prosecution is so hard, that is very unlikely to be true reflection of numbers.

[Laladeepsouth]

Should have read "These responses" --

[HapShawl]

Given that in order for rape culture to flourish there has to be a critical mass of people who don't believe that rape culture exists, I think that Lala's posts are entirely to be expected