Urgh, when will I get my street harassment reaction down pat??

[BreeVDKamp]

Some douchebag just wolf whistled me and shouted something inane and sexist from his van.

I turned around (gah, I always do! I thought he wanted directions or something) and pointed at my stomach (am 36 weeks pregnant). I did some hand gesture - not sure what I was going for, but I think I totally mucked it up and it ended up looking like I was giving him the thumbs up!!

Oh dear, not what I was aiming for!

I had a similar experience when I was 8 mp, man in lorry honked his horn and winked at me so I turned pointed at massive belly and flicked the vs, felt smug though cus he looked really embarrassed! ODB!

The ONLY response to this shit is to ignore it. Any reaction is the one they want. Sorry this happened to you, OP

Oh this is such a difficult one. Because they are after a reaction. They want to interrupt your day and for you to focus on them. Because you are in a public space ie a space they consider theirs.

As such I think the best reaction is no reaction. I have yet to master this myself and I've been where you were today. I feel your pain.

x-post!

It's easy for me to talk because I walk around in a permanent "I will not respond" bubble. I don't even jump when cars backfire close to me and suchlike. I'm a bit proud of it although it's awkward when someone I know stops to say hello and thinks I'm blanking them.

I have reached the age of invisibility (finally!) and am thoroughly enjoying it. The way I learnt to deal with it as a kid was just to not react at all - they are looking for a reaction any reaction and I never wanted to give them the satisfaction of getting one. it does mean that I behave imperviously when I hear any kind of shouting or horn tooting or anything (although now I'm invisible I'm starting to look a bit more) and DH once said what if someone is trying to attract your attention for a good reason and I said well 99 times out of 100 they aren't and if something happens then it happens but really that was how I dealt with it.

Also it's not for us to deal with is it, to find a "good" way of dealing with it, they are all different people looking for different things we have no way of knowing what will successfully communicate displeasure and get a reaction we want (ie they don't escalate / laugh in your face / enjoy any attention even if negative) it's up to them not to do it FFS women and girls shouldn't be subjected to street harrassment when they're out and about.

Yes I should probably stop reacting in any way at all. Hate the idea of letting them get away with it though!

I usually go around in an impervious bubble blanking all attempts to get my attention, as most posters here.

Occasionally I'll use the angle of inviting the catcallers to examine their own misogyny: I've asked them, sincerely, "What do you think you gain from this?" (This stumps them for a moment, and I walk on).

I do this because I think they've been socialised to do this so instinctively, they've probably never parsed why they're actually doing it. So it's a natural question for me to ask. I'm not doing it to educate them, but to present myself as a human being that they've just unjustly targeted, but without the flustered or angry reaction they're angling for. iyswim.

And also, asking them a puzzling question gives me the element of surprise: since it's not what they're expecting, it wrong-foots them, which I feel redresses the power imbalance. And gives me time to get away.

Coincidentally, I was just re-watching earlier. I think a lot of them are pretty accurate. It's helpful to remember how much catcalling makes the catcallers losers.

Like all bullying, they're trying to degrade us because of their own deep inadequacies.

Ignoring is probably the best thing to do, but it's not something I've mastered myself. I jump at car horns and then feel silly. When I was a teenager I remember shouting "fuck off" to a car that had honked and the passengers did wank signs at me, I then panicked when the car pulled over further down the road, so I turned and ran back home.

"Hate the idea of letting them get away with it though!" I feel your pain with this too. I just find though I can't think of something cutting enough at the time or they have already disappeared and I look like an idiot shouting at fresh air! So I try and cut my losses. I'm still seething inside though so not sure how productive ignoring is!