I did a very stupid thing today- porn related.

[Hakluyt]

I was talking to my ds about porn today- some of the kids at school have it on their phones and he was asking me about it. This afternoon, i decided to see how easy it really was to find it on the internet. I am, by the way, very strongly opposed to porn as a feminist and as a human being.

I am now shocked and depressed at what I saw. Literally 3 clicks to pages and pages of degrading, woman hating vile awful stuff. And lots oof "young teen"- always with a 18 in the title but a teddy bear on the bed or a little pleated school uniform type skirt. Hideous. I can't unsee it, as they say- but if you're thinking of doing the same, don't. I'll take this one for the team- you don't have to.

It is disgusting how easy it is for children to gain access to it.

I'd recommend installing a free web protection filter onto your sons device. It is a Bluecoat product and requires a password for certain categories - even facebook and you tube

www1.k9webprotection.com/

I think schools should be more proactive in preventing these graphic images being viewed on school grounds, not just porn but any kind of psychologically damaging content.

Thank you. I don't put filters on my children's devices -I trust them to make sensible choices. What he saw was on someone else's. But I agree- the ease of access was shocking.

I would be encouraged by the fact that your DS felt able to discuss it with you. You are obviously a good parent and a good communicator.

Actually, it's not my ds I'm bothered about- I only mentioned him to explain why I looked!

I'd raise your concerns with the school and ask if they are going to be raising the issue with all parents. I will be doing the same when my daughter reaches secondary school age.

Did you hear the woman's hour debate on porn yesterday?
V depressing stuff.

don't wait til secondary - this stuff was rife at ds's primary

It was hearing a bit of the debate on Sunday night that got my ds talking. I'm not sure what the school can do, to be honest. I suppose we all just need to keep telling our teenagers that no, these women are not doing it because they enjoy sex, or are being empowered, they are mostly driven to it by economic circumstances. And no, that's not what "normal"sex looks like.

So why cant schools enfoce web protection filters on devices? Anyone caught with graphic adult content should be expelled, open conversations at home, modern sex education and debates at schools on issues of what can be seen on the internet are of course important too.

It really is shocking how easy it is to access. As you have realised op, more easier than you believed, no taking card payments, although that's worthless considering 13 year olds can have debit cards.

Some don't realise and sadly some don't give a shit what their children are viewing.

Yes inform the school. Don't wait until secondary school.

We hold sessions with parents and carers and e-safety is a big issue. We talk about the good and the bad. We show them how to block things. We do follow ups to help further with blocks. We talk about the dangers. We show parents how easy it is to access things. Yes they read about the dangers. They hear about the dangers from the media, but until they experience it, they don't think its an issue. More and more schools do need to start doing this.

Because they've done nothing for too long, the average age for viewing this stuff is 8. Or was it's probably lower now.
Schools all need a strict no phones policy, and I can't see them being brave enough.

pandora, schools have all sorts of filters on school-owned devices and school wifi. They can't control phones with 3g or 4g though. Could ban them from school premises, but that is difficult to police, and parents often insist that kids need phones to ensure safety getting to and from secondary schools.

Jess
I'm not saying ban devices, i'm saying teachers should check students devices to see if they've got porn filters installed, if they don't they get confiscated until school finishes and speak with the parents.

Pandora where would you have the time in the school day for that?

And students are 100 steps ahead of the teachers anyway! If a teacher set the porn filters (with whose permission, exactly?) then the students could remove the filters within a split second.

"I suppose we all just need to keep telling our teenagers that no, these women are not doing it because they enjoy sex, or are being empowered, they are mostly driven to it by economic circumstances. And no, that's not what "normal"sex looks like."

I think that you are sadly right. And I think that we also need to warn our children, too, that they might be shown images or videos of this nature before they are. With an average age of eight..... god even knows where you start with that one. I don't want to explain it to my six year old. We will have a talk about what to do if you come across something scary/worrying/confusing on the internet, because he is starting to become interested in it. At the moment just watching game videos on youtube, the worst he has seen is a bit of swearing and a mod that lets you do a poo in minecraft So I guess that is a start. Then maybe nine? Ten? That you repeat that conversation again and bring up the idea that they might see something relating to sex, or porn.

It is not realistic for schools to avoid it completely, nor is it realistic to hope that they won't see it. This is the world that we live in and they will see it whether we like it or not. Remember, as well, that there is the so called "normal" porn, which is bad enough ("teens" and "sluts get fucked hard" and whatever other depraved shit) and then there are shock videos - two girls one cup, lemon party, I once sat through a delightful evening where my cousin's boyfriend pulled up a thread dedicated to videos of anal and vaginal prolapse caught on camera (porn shoots gone wrong) and watched them all and LAUGHED about it.

We bring them up to have empathy, and dignity, to stand up and say that they don't agree, to see women as human. And we hope that they will see through it.

pandora, besides other issues you'd probably find that the vast majority of teachers don't want to check students phones. Our school has a policy that if phones are seen in school (even during lunch break) they get kept in the school office for a week. Most teachers simply refuse to implement the rule, and most parents complain about the teachers who do implement it.

I meant the parents would set up the filters, if they are insistent on their kids going to school with devices it is THEIR responsibility for content.
Schools make a request for filters to be installed at home, if a child is found to be viewing porn in the playground obviously the device is confiscated and parents told, the filter gets installed and if it happens again, exclude that child.
We're ALL naturally curious of course kids will be too, but they dint realise the severity of what is out there and the psychological harm it can do.
School is not a place to be shown hardcore warped images from peers who dont understand it but laugh it off anyway. Remember these images are from an industry rife with prostitution, drugs, and mental / physical abuse.

Jess
See above post.
It is parents responsibility!! Teachers react to any issues raised as the case with drugs knives etc anything found to be a danger to pupils is confiscated yet the Internet is a free for all? LOL
If little Johnny turned up to school with his mum and dads dvd porn collection and sold them to his mates he'd be punished. Same thing here.
Why is the Internet different if there are FREE and very SIMPLE preventative measures that can be taken?

Forgot to mention my daughter is in primary school, doesn't own a phone, the laptop and tablet both have filters. Come secondary school age in 3 years time I will be kicking off big style if there is no preventions in place.

Did any of you read this?

www.newstatesman.com/voices/2015/03/dont-ask-if-porn-empowers-women-instead-ask-if-your-feminism-does

I get the point they are trying to make in the article, but what has porn got to do with schools? NOTHING.
It is for Adults Only for a reason, that's why there is sex education not "bring your device to school, Google anything you like and make up your own mind" education.

I watched a film on netflix last year about a teen that had internet porn addiction. Was very interesting, I think there could be alot of children out there with this issue afraid to speak up. Why are we making it so easy for kids to view it?

Not sure we are making it easy for the kids to watch so much as they are so much more tech savvy. Even with strong filter software in place and with the child not able to access the password they will be round it in the time it takes to find a proxy server.

So we should not safeguard them at all then? Because our kids are smart?
I call bullshit on this one, parents don't seem to want the responsibility, who buys them the device in the first place? We do! Who can install software, tell them certain content is restricted and they be suspended if found at school? Parents can and teachers enforce it. Havjng an open Free Access to any content on devices isn't helping.
What happened to Internet or network providers having default approval from subscribers to view certain age appropriate content? I thought David Cameron was doing something about that?