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Original poster

WTAF planned sex ed on consent

15 replies

minkGrundy · 09/03/2015 00:21

m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-31788388

Article about planned for education on consent. All good.

Except tacked on to the BBC news 24 article (not in link) they said "[to teach students about consent] and that alcohol and clothing can lead to misunderstandings"

wtaf!?! Where did they get that from? Is this beeb comment or gvt policy?

Either way it is outrageous unless the misunderstanding they are referring to is the misconception that clothing and alcohol has any bearing.

OP posts:
PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/03/2015 08:40

Haven't seen that article, so can't comment on that, however if that's true, then it's really disappointing.

Nicky Morgan has shown that once again she is miles away from reality. I know people who know her, and who grew up in the same area as she did at around the same time, some slightly older, and there were EXACTLY the same pressures from men and boys around sex. The only difference is that now very young boys have access to porn their counterparts from 30 years ago didn't have.

11 is also far too old to start teaching about consent.

RainbowFlutterby · 09/03/2015 08:45

It's true though - it does lead to "misunderstandings".

I'm afraid I read it as teaching young people that a girl wearing a short skirt isn't "up for it" and all people need to protect themselves from drunken misunderstandings.

MsVanRein · 09/03/2015 08:50

I saw this too really pissed me off had to rewind back as thought I had misheard!

DoNotDisturb · 09/03/2015 08:52

I caught this on the news last night. The outrage was over whether we should be teaching these issues at school or at age 11. No one flinched at the issue of teaching kids that alcohol and clothing can lead to misunderstandings... Boils my blood!

ApocalypseThen · 09/03/2015 08:55

It's true though - it does lead to "misunderstandings".

If you accept that women and girls own their own bodies and that nobody has the right to put as much as a finger on another person without permission outside of an emergency situation, suddenly there is no room for any misunderstanding.

RainbowFlutterby · 09/03/2015 09:07

Apocalypse

That's how I read it - that the proposal is to teach people just that. That what a woman wears is her own business and it is not for anybody to make any judgement or assumption based on her choice.

I really hope that's what they mean.

DoNotDisturb · 09/03/2015 10:34

I hope so.

TheBlackRider · 09/03/2015 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

INickedAName · 09/03/2015 11:40

I've just seen a discussion on this on "this morning" and it was said that they will be using "if a woman is drunk she is responsible" type statements as a basis to start discussion and explain why it's not true.

Eleven sounds young, I've heard a few parents grumbling about it and saying they will be opting out in the playground earlier, but I look at dd, who has just turned 10 and she knows what sex is,about respect, what rape is and what consent is, in an age appropriate way. If they don't know something is wrong then how can they report it? There are two boys in her class who were discussing "girls smelly pussies" last week, dd came home upset and told me, they weren't talking to her but she felt uncomfortable overhearing, these are nine and ten year old boys, I know one has had access to some disturbing porn on several occasions, (his mum told me as she was complaining to internet provider for google showing it??) and if this is the attitude he has at nine, I think eleven might be too late.

I'm speaking to school about it this afternoon, I don't think anyone should have to hear that kind of language anywhere, never mind in a primary school playground.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/03/2015 12:46

11 years old is far too young to be introducing this stuff at school. We already know that very young boys are able to access really nasty p0rn with ease via the internet. Discussions around consent should start from very young at home, not making your child kiss or cuddle a relative who they don't want to cuddle or kiss is a really important lesson in bodily autonomy. Kind hands. Allowing children to be naked or not naked at home, as they wish.... really, how much of a drama is it if your child bathes in a tee shirt?

Even more importantly, fostering a sense of real community, where children are able to trust themselves, each other and the adults around them to listen to them. There's bugger all point in teaching children about consent and healthy relationships if they know that, if things go horribly wrong, no one is going to believe them or help them.

The CSE that has happened all over GB that has come to light recently has been perpetrated by groups of men, but it has undoubtedly been made worse and allowed to continue because society simply doesn't believe children when they disclose, even if those children disclose to the correct authorities, they are not believed.

The We Believe You campaign isn't perfect, and it has no remit or desire for a remit which will change the legal process, no matter how much fools want to believe it does, what it should be doing is fostering a safe space for victims to disclose and NOT be automatically disbelieved.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/03/2015 12:46

Sorry, must proof read.... 11 years old is far too old not young, obvs.... Blush

Momagain1 · 09/03/2015 13:19

11 is NOT to young!

Tiny children need to learn the basics of consent although in a non sexual matter.

By age 11, more than a few girls are already getting wolf whistles and harassment, and the many who are already noticeably developed need to know everything any adult women knows. What's more, her male classmates need to know too. This Is the age when attempting innocent gropings on the bus or in a crowd starts. The meme about 'how to prevent rape' which is a listing of all the times men should not rape pretty much needs to be taught, and this is the age. Just as the risk begins appearing.

Long before age 11, all of them should have been taught consent from the perspective of children, that they have a right to speak for themselves regarding any touching from play fighting to dodgy adults. Age 11 is exactly the right time to teach both genders to extend these ideas into dating relationships and coping with adult scenarios that are looming. We have been actively teaching little children their privates are private and other such concepts for decades, and evidently, this understanding of consent is not consistently carrying over into the adult world of potentially sexual relationships. boys are still turning into men thinking no means yes, drunk means yes, clothing means yes. girls are still turning into women thinking they 'owe' sex after a certain amount of romance or expense, or again after they did once, or to the next boyfriend since he knows she isnt a virgin.

Momagain1 · 09/03/2015 13:27

Puffin, my response was nor prompted by your post, but to many above. We are in agreement.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 09/03/2015 13:32

We are indeed Grin

mary24go · 09/03/2015 18:50

"If you accept that women and girls own their own bodies and that nobody has the right to put as much as a finger on another person without permission outside of an emergency situation, suddenly there is no room for any misunderstanding."

100% agree with you and it should be portrayed as a ZERO tolerance issue period.

The whole concept is totally against actual studies (on serial rapists at least) anyway, that sort go for those who look vulnerable and that is projected far more via body language than clothing

The education department needs to get its head out of its ass.

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