(Sorry if this is not the right topic!)
This morning I was climbing some stairs up to the local Post Office. A man came chasing me up the stairs, saying something to me. I thought he wanted to get past, or say something important, so I took my headphones out - but nope! He was just catcalling and saying “Hello beautiful!” in this really sickening, lecherous tone, and looking me up and down. He actually reached out to touch me!!
I just scowled at him and kept walking, and he disappeared, but I was fucking enraged and wanted to shout: “I am 7 months pregnant and married, what the fuck do you hope to achieve here??”. I didn’t because on the one hand I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging him, and on the other hand I was a little apprehensive of what he would say back to me.
Last time I said something back to one of these people, it went like this:
Moron In Street: Sexy lady!!!!
?Me: Shut up. (lame I know)
?MIS: YOU SHUT UP! FAT BITCH!!
…After just having said I was sexy! And I thought he was going to follow me after that, he sounded FURIOUS that I had dared talk back.
Now, this behaviour makes me so livid. It is a daily occurence where I live, men doing this in the street. What is the reason they do it? I know it has absolutely nothing to do with how beautiful the woman is, as my example above demonstrates (and behaving this way because the woman is stunning is just as gross, obvs). They will do it to anyone and in my experience it doesn’t matter how dressed up or scruffy I am, they will still do it. It seems there is nothing I can wear that doesn’t make me feel like I am on show to please the men, because they will behave like this no matter what I am wearing. It is not about how attractive the woman is, it is something else. And what is that something? What are they trying to achieve or demonstrate?
Also, it is always a certain kind of man, but what kind of man? In my experience it is not to do with race or age, but no man I choose to associate with would ever dream of intimidating a woman in the street like this, or even saying “cheer up love, it might never happen!”. It wouldn't even occur to them. Likewise I would never think to leer at a man in the street, let alone say something to them. So what is the common factor here?
It’s maddening because I do find it intimidating, but they would say that they are just being nice and paying you a compliment, so how can that be intimidating? It is so underhanded. Maybe that is why it is so rife.
On similar threads in the past I’ve seen women say : “Just be glad you get some attention!” / “Ah, they are just trying to cheer you up” / “You’ll miss it when you’re old!”… but no. That is not the point.
I get enough attention from my husband, I don’t want attention from this kind of….. (Agh, what is that word!!! This is what I can’t put my finger on!) I don’t want attention from this kind of predatory???* man.
I don’t need cheering up, I am ludicrously happy in my life thanks. That is just my face at rest. I won’t walk around with a smile on my face and get sore cheeks just in case I walk past a man who would rather I smile.
I will not miss it when I am old, I was hoping having a baby bump might stop this sort of thing, at least temporarily. Will it continue when I’m pushing my newborn down the street, or when I’m walking along with a toddler or school-age child??
*I don’t know if it’s predatory. It’s like they think they are God’s gift and we women will be delighted that they deign to talk to us. So, arrogance then? But even that is not it. I don’t know the word to describe their attitude. Can anyone help me out here? 
We are moving out of London soon and I am hoping this won't happen so much. I never experienced this behaviour before I moved to London, but I was 18 when I moved here from the countryside so perhaps I just hadn’t had the opportunity to experience this beforehand. I never experience this behaviour outside of London, but perhaps that’s because if I am in other cities I am not just running errands/living my everyday life, so don’t notice it, and I’m less likely to be walking around by myself - I’ve rarely had this happen if walking along with a friend or in a group. It’s like they don’t have the balls to act this way unless it’s to a lone woman.
It’s sad - because I’m so used to this happening, I am always prepared to be defensive when walking down the street, so if a man makes eye contact and says good morning or something, perfectly nicely, I always skip a beat before smiling and saying hello back while I try and work out if there is a horrible objectifying comment coming. It’s sad! I like strangers being friendly to each other!
Another thing is, they’re so thick that if a man ever behaved in the same way to one of their daughters, I bet they would beat him up, and wouldn’t see the contradiction here.
AIBU and absurd to be so utterly incensed by this vile culture? I don’t even know what to call it. The day to day objectifying of women? What are they trying to do? Why do they do it? It makes my blood boil. What is the word for this behaviour??? And what can I do about it?