Skirts-only girls school unifrom

[namelessposter]

My DD age 5 goes to an independent school with a 'skirts-only' uniform policy for girls. As a feminist, this raises my hackles, but I have said nothing as I've had other battles to fight, and wanted her to settle into the school (she's in Reception) before being 'that parent'. Generally the school is very pro active, achieving grls and I have no prob with the overall ethos - just the dated uniform policy.

She's a really active little girl, and comes home with plenty of scuffs from the playground. All her new tights have holes in them, whicj I keep sewing up.

Three times in the last 10 days she's come home with a skinned-knee - damage enough for big plasters and an accident report. During this time we've realised she has a severe latex allergy and can't use plasters - not even the hypoallergenic ones. So I'm having to send her in with a skirt and socks, to give access to the dressing for it to be changed. I want to bring up with the school:

1: That the girls uniform clearly isn't adequate for them to have active play in the playground, as it is being trashed, and not protecting her from injury whilst she's busy dashing around the playground and
2: that it's ludicrous that whilst injured (which seems to be every other day) she has to wear skirt and socks (i.e mostly bare legs) in sub zero temperatures, when they're outside for at least an hour a day.

I want them to lighten up and give me permission to send her in in standard (boy's uniform) grey trousers, which will slow down the injuries, and give us air-circulation and access to dressings if new ones do happen. It seems a no-brainer to me. But the school is a stickler for convention and I don't think they' be keen. How do you think I should approach it?

You need to start by canvassing opinion of other parents.

The school will be much more inclined to listen to multiple income sources than to one.

Hmm, personally I find the "skirts are silly, impractical, girly clothes" argument very difficult to take from a feminist perspective.

There is nothing inherently practical or sensible about trousers, except that they are associated with boys.

Kids fall and hurt themselves and bash their knees all the time. Trousers have different drawbacks from tights.

I don't really understand how they give you more access to anything unless the legs are so wide that the child would be freezing cold wearing them.

No, I like skirts. I think an ideal uniform gives the patent/child a choice of both depending on weather and preference. I just don't want to be sewing up holes in tights each week, and I think that the thicker fabric of the trousers will give her more protection in playground tumbles. I know which I'd rather be wearing if I fell onto tarmac.

Oh, and initial respopnses suggest that the other parents are a conventional bunch and are very unlikely to want to start a revolution with me. Indeed, I don't want to start a revolution myself, I just want to send my daughter in in trousers whilst the weather is bad and she has poorly knees.

I've never seen an Independant school where girls can wear trousers, though I'm sure there must be some. Certainly none of the six I know of locally do.

Why not put her in nice thick wooly tights?

What would the school do of you sent her in trousers??

My friend's DC go to independent school with a skirt uniform policy for girls. A new girl started this term in her DD's class who simply refused to wear skirts. She just turned up in trousers and continued to do so. The school finally gave in. What can they practically do?

Probably tell me not to do it again. That was what happened when I sent DS in a non-regulation jumper variant one day last year (it was the sleeveless version of the official one. Identical wool, design, colour and weight to the official one, but the sleeveless option from the same manufacturer. Which I thought was allowed, but wasn't on the 'official' list. We were told not to wear again. Firmly).

I'm not sure trousers would be much better, the DDs go though the knees of their trousers as quickly as they go through their tights. That said, I'm glad we have a choice, last week DD1 wore tights under her trousers because it was so cold during the walk to school.

There must be some threads on here about how to approach the school, it's a common issue. What does their equality policy say, is there any leverage there?

What does your daughter want to wear?

Loads of private schools let the girls wear trousers - all the ones with any Muslim pupils for a start.

My DC independent is skirts for year 3-5 and then they can choose trousers or skirts.
However my DSs have to wear shorts and long socks until year 6 when they go into long trousers!
Of all the possibilities the shorts have been the most practical. Grazed knees are cheaper than torn trousers.
However the uniform code was there when we applied. DD who started this year has only ever worn trousers at school but is fine in the skirt which she rolls up to allow free movement. she just had to suck it up!

'Had' only ever worn trousers at school

This has some useful suggestions.

Trousers will offer very little extra protection than a skirt and tights ime. I work in an infant school - boys in trousers have just as many grazes and cuts to the knee as the girls.

I am sure that is why many boys only schools have shorts for little ones. - to stop the trousers being shredded.

So I don't think you will win the battle with that argument.

Likewise - a skirt is fairly practical tbh. They have never stopped me doing anything nor DD. I have pictures of DD when little in full length maxi dresses up a tree and at the top of climbing frames. She went through a phase of only wearing dresses but it never stopped or hindered her pay/activities.

However, there could be an argument for an equality issue maybe. However, DD's girls only secondary asked their pupil school council about this - and they voted for retaining the skirts and didn't want the trouser option - they would have had to be normal school style trousers in school colours. The girls didn't like them and preferred the skirt option. So the uniform option stayed as it was regarding trousers/skirts.

Though it is an independent school and I assume you knew about the uniform before you selected it and that, as it is independent, it wasn't your only choice school. So, there is part of me thinking - why choose a school where you don't like the uniform options.

Tricky one. The counter argument will go that you chose the school knowing that this was their policy.

My DC's school has skirts for girls. TBH they spend at least half of the day in games kit, including most of their (considerable) outdoor play time, so I can't be bothered to fight it for those few hours a day. Plus, given that the boys up to Y3 wear shorts, and the girls, unlike the boys, wear full length base layer leggings with their games kit (the boys are allowed them, it's just not cool to wear them...) I think the girls are generally warmer than the boys anyway.

TBH in your position, OP, I would focus on DD and the latex allergy issue rather than trying to change the uniform policy, which at best will be a very long process. Thinking pragmatically, might leggings in the right colour be a workable compromise?

QuestionsaboutDS - not ime here. There are some slight variation/changes made for the muslim girls which allows them to cover their legs but no trouser option.

Would you not end up sewing patches on trousers too? DS was very hard on his school trousers between the ages of 5 and 8, and they were expensive to replace when they got completely shredded, which was twice or three times a year.

My DDs went to a private elementary school that allowed either a pinafore or shorts/trousers for girls (skirts for girls from age 10 on), and shorts or trousers for boys. After age 5 none of the girls ever wanted to wear trousers on grounds that they were girls, not boys. Being a girl was considered better than being a boy... They all wore bike shorts under their pinafores, making them warmer in winter than they would otherwise have been, and allowing much cartwheeling, etc. With long socks, they really were warm enough indoors or out.

Fwiw, I always hated wearing tights in school as I felt too warm indoors and my feet were always cold outside if the tights were too small, plus I felt I was always pulling them up if too big. I never really felt I had tights that fit properly.

I have clear memories of teachers dabbing something red on cuts to stanch bleeding way back in my schooldays.

Agreed trousers don't quite solve the problem of wounds/dressings, because they still 'stick' to exposed areas like tights. They also can get holes in them.

I think it is reasonable for girls to wear trousers full stop though.

I decided last summer to send my eldest girl (aged 10) in shorts, she hated skirts as wanted to still be very active and run about, but not show her knickers. No cycling shorts, too hot and she has eczema, so I bought her decent shorts and sent her in. No-one said anything but this is a state school and I don't think they would have fussed. She doesn't wear the regular school sweatshirt either as it is not cotton and makes her sweat.

Unfortunately you have picked a school which presumably cares a lot about things like extreme uniform conformity. I might write and politely ask them to review the policy but I bet they won't.

Knee pads? Seems strange that she falls every day.
What causes that? I'd be worries if my dd came home with split tights and injuries every day

Good thread, I think that at least there should be choice. Dd is always on the monkey bars and has to wear shorts under her skirt because of, trousers would be so much better. Unidentifieditem may have a point although 5 yr olds play is all rough and tumble from what I can remember

In my mind its simple.
If your daughter wants to wear trousers,and understands it may cause hassle with her teachers and even her friends,I would tell I'd back her up,send her in trousers and wait and see if anything happens -then fight my daughters corner if it did.
If she wasn't that bothered,I would simply write to the school,governors,whatever,stating that there should be a choice.

Where's the big deal in there being a choice?Its not gonna tear apart the fabric of society.I'm amazed some schools still adopt this policy!

I can't believe in 2015 we have to argue for girls to be allowed trousers.

I know, you'd think by now we'd be over the bullshit idea that trousers are brilliant becAuse boys wear them, and be asking for boys to wear pinafores, the most practical of school uniform clothing.

Although I find the idea of expecting choice when it comes to uniforms slightly bizarre. Surely the point of a uniform is the lack of choice?

I could get on board with the argument that fussy school uniforms for primary school children are daft and impractical and look ridiculous.

But school trousers are a worse option than pinafores, so I don't like the presumption that boy's clothes are the best because it seems to come with the presumption that whatever boys wear is automatically most practical because boys.

If the trousers we were talking about were tracksuit trousers I would feel differently.