"If you don�t wish to give out the wrong signals it�s best probably to keep your knickers on and not get into bed with him"

[DorisIsALittleBitPartial]

Sorry to hit and run but am at work and will be in trouble if I get caught on the internet!

However I have just seen this article (yes Daily Mail but only chose this one because it's got the comment in full):

link

and wanted to share it. This Nick Conrad is not some old bloke living in the dark ages but a 29 year old. Is this really representative of how men still think?

Anyway, I've got to go so will come back this evening.

If he came home and found a drunk, naked, semi conscious woman in his bed, would he really be overcome by his male energy, forget partner and family, disregard her awareness or consent and rape her? Does he think so little of himself?

Possibly Yonic.

Agree Yonic, thought Id take it one step more and suggest that he holds them to his personal view and standard.

I saw this is also in Chat with links to the complaints page and trust me they've got some complaints now. . . .

I for one am so thrilled that men hold the HUGE majority of positions of power/influence in this country but (according to this twat) are essentially out of control, drippy dicked, willpower-less, unrestrained rapers.

Well done for doing your entire sex a disservice there, Nick.

My God this pisses me off! I am the mother of two sons, both now grown men. I taught them that it doesn't matter where your dick is with regards to her anatomy or what she has said or done beforehand, if she says 'no' at ANY time, then NO means NO! If she's so drunk or high that she can't walk straight, you don't even ask! You stop and walk away. If you decide that she was intentionally leading you on, then don't go out with her again. But that they never had the right to decide what a woman wanted.

What is so fucking hard (no pun intended) about that?

I'm still so shocked that he has made these comments. Anyway, I hope all of you have complained using the link in the PP, I think the other post in Chat has more legs, I hadn't seen it when I posted this.

I was sharing a bed with someone. We were topping and tailing because there were no other beds.
There had been no sexual contact between us. Not even flirting.
I was wearing knickers.
I woke up to find him trying to have sex with me.
All my fault I guess, for inviting him into my bed?

I hope you gave him a sharp jab where it hurt borstal. Thank God you had knickers on!

I had a dear male friend when I was younger. We routinely would share a bed after a night on the town together. His friends would always take the piss out of him because he 'never got any'. Idiots.

The episode in question is not available via Listen Again. Maybe they are taking action

No, I pushed him off me and went and hid in the bathroom.

When a man tells you who he is, believe him.

What sort of man thinks that men are not in control of whether they put their penises into women in certain circumstances?

I have been arguing with someone (Female) who says the presenter didn't mean to blame victims. Gaaahh.

Interestingly you can't listen to the show on the BBC site. Wonder why?

Is funny as have heard the same lame reasons from Middle eastern men as to why women must cover up, or expect the wild uncontrolled beasts. Just shows this rubbish crosses all cultures.

Dh and I said that too. When we were on holiday in Egypt about 11 years ago we were talking to a group of local men who came out with exactly that argument.

And the argument is in essence, that all men are rapists.

Or at least that most of them are and other men are allowing them to hide in their ranks.

WTF?

And that sodding "wrong signals" thing - like women are so powerful - we can send out some sort of magical sonic signals which turn normal, blameless men into ravening beasts who just want to ravish us and simply can't help themselves.

In fact, WTAF? What sort of narrative is that? Do they ever fucking listen to themselves?

I hate it. It's such a rape myth that there are lots of women running round, stripping off themselves and their menfolk, jumping happily into bed then going "nah, CBA now" after things have become frenzied.

(Nb - of course either party can say no at the frenzied point still, I just think the number of rapes that happen following that kind of scenario are v small)

I'm confused by this "signals" thing too.

If men are able to read these signals and the signals say go, they then can't read any other signal that says no, stop. If they can read a go, they can read the stop signal. Either they can read or they can't. What his argument reduces man to is an animal guided by instinct and no reason, evidently he thinks all men lack reason because of his obvious lack in this department. And I guess this is the problem, how can one be assured that people speaking in public are not dafter than dogs.

Yeah this men can't read signals crap.

Except in board meetings, diplomatic events, military stand-offs, business deals, and in their daily dealings with other men on public transport, in offices, in shops, in pubs and clubs. They manage to get through the days without misunderstanding the intentions of other men or misreading signals. They know when to back down, when to be quiet, when to press their case, when to intervene and when to hold back. Men who expertly negotiate complex and sometimes very subtle interactions, are suddenly supposed to be utterly unable to tell the difference between a woman who really, really wants you inside her body and one who actually isn't that up for it thanks.

Bullshit. Men read signals all the time even when they are drunk. Even when they are VERY drunk. Up and down the country every weekend, thousands of fights and fatal confrontations are avoided, because men can read signals and see the lie of the land and take evasive actions.

Only when it comes to sex, are they suddenly supposed to be unable to read signals.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. And then a little bit of horse-shit thrown in.