What would it take for men to stand up and support us in our fight against male violence against women?

[AWholeLottaNosy]

Been thinking about this recently with the controversy about Ched Evans, the amount of support he has received and the few men who have come out against him ( Nick Clegg, Piers Morgan and now Billy Bragg). I also know that Will Young, Gary Ramsey and - bugger can't remember his name, but the actor who played Jean Luc Picard who was in Star Trek have also spoken out against domestic violence.( I know two of those were victims of it as children). Owen Jones has also written some very powerful
Articles in The Independent about sexual violence. However, that's it, to my knowledge. Why are there not more high profile men who are willing to stick their head above the parapet and say to other men, this is wrong? Is it because they are scared of their popularity being affected or is it because they just don't care..,? Or is it because they don't want to lose their own privileges?

Am genuinely curious and perplexed by this. It's not like famous men don't come out in support of lots if causes they are in favour of..,

What do you think?

Maybe you are aware of more men than I am who are standing up
Against male violence against women, would love to know who they are.,,,

Well, yes Petula, but maybe they also want to sort out poverty and societal inequality and the class system and cronyism and corruption and sweatshop exploitation and all the other shit around us every day.

You said upthread about how many men here say that they saw the light once they had a daughter. Imagine how many women have grown up into their twenties, sailed through the education system, got a great degree, a high-flying job, really getting on in life and enjoying the good stuff. Then they get pregnant.....and all of a sudden they see how maternity leave and childcare issues hit women disproportionally, probably for the first time in their lives. Then they get what women's lib have been banging on about for decades.

It's the same thing really, isn't it?

PetulaGordino
Many men do speak out against general violence but this thread is about why men don't speak out specifically against men's violence towards women.

I thought going by the title that speaking out against violence in general would not be good enough.

Back to naming men who speak out against violence against women:

Jackson Katz

www.ted.com/talks/jackson_katz_violence_against_women_it_s_a_men_s_issue?language=en

I'm American; I have a few more but most are from the US.

Coaching Boys Into Men

www.futureswithoutviolence.org/engaging-men/coaching-boys-into-men/

In the wake of the Jian Ghomeshi relevations (Canada radio celebrity being investigated for historical violence against woman) a local Toronto alternative weekly has started publishing quite a few articles about combating violence.

Here is one Manifesto For The Responsible Male

Myempire that's a great article ( haven't read any comments underneath yet, hope they won't be the usual, deflecting NAMALT shit). Glad someone is asking the question tho. I mean it's not as if men don't stand up for other issues, climate change, animal welfare, poverty, war, the NHS etc. and VAW does affect men too.

Sorry but after DS1 being assaulted by his now ex GF last night as he dared to talk to a girl from school while he was out with her. She sprayed him with hair spray and while he could not see she scratched his face. I want to go to the police as this is assault pure and simple but he has been begging me not to press the matter as he would be seen as a wimp. I can certainly see why many men don't get involved. And to be honest I don't blame them at the moment.

Sausage, your DS being attacked by a girl has nothing to do with speaking out about male violence against women. That is ridiculous.

I believe in the main most men are against violence towards women. I also think however most men are unaware of the scale of the problem, and the nature of it.

Former President Jimmy Carter

A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence, and Power

Just seen that Paul Heaton from The Beautiful South has resigned as patron of Sheffield Utd. Good for him!

m.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-30087979

Not buying that from Paul Heaton, tbh

All he is saying is that he doesn't think CE should play for SUFC, but that it is perfectly ok for him to play for someone else.

NIMBY

Reading between the lines of his message, his concern is for the club

Not for the fact that a convicted rapist who has expressed no remorse and stood by while his family and friends have hounded his victim has no business in the field of professional football.

Not seen too many celebrities make reference to that, tbh.

Not for the fact that a convicted rapist who has expressed no remorse and stood by while his family and friends have hounded his victim has no business in the field of professional football.

This is the bit I can't get my head round. Would the restriction apply only to footballers? What about those in the lower leagues earning a few hundred quid a week? What about other athletes? What about other professions? If it's a remuneration thing, would you salary-cap released sex offenders? What if he was allowed a maximum wage, such as the mean UK salary?

I understand the sentiment. I just don't know how you apply that in practice.

It's quite easy in practice.

Get a rape conviction, lose your job.

It works in my profession and many others.

I saw someone mention that before. Frankly, it does my head in, this role model thing. I have always thought, way before this guy became infamous, that anyone who allows their children to idolise footballers does not deserve to be a parent.

They should not be role models. It is a sport full of cheating and corruption at the highest level. The highest profile players seem to be, by and large, dick heads. And I say this as someone who has always been a football fan. I love the sport. But the people at the top of it? Wankers.

And something else. As abhorrent as this case is, perhaps his high profile has shown some boys and men that this is what rape is. Not assault by a stranger in a dark alley, but sex - any sex - without consent.

I would like to think that this case has shown men that there are serious consequences to commiting this type of crime ( doubt it tho since so many people think he is innocent )

and back on topic...

not sure why though id expect the if you are not actively against it you are for it to be hard for some of them to stomach.

I don't know how anyone could deny that male is the violent gender. The statistics are there for all to see.

But even if the issue was recognised by all, what would constitutes victory in the fight against male violence? A 50/50 male/female split in the violent crime statistics? Unless you are talking about launching some kind of grand genetic engineering project I'm not sure that we'll ever see a 50/50 split.