I agree - it's hard work being a woman in the more techy areas of IT. There is a lot of sexism, and a lot of women do end up thinking, why am I bothering? (Although, twatty, bullying departmental manager, you need not think I am giving up without a fight, and you need not think Friday's antics will be allowed to pass without comment, either.)
A good book is "Gender Codes - Why Women are leaving Computing" (Thomas Misa ed.) which talks about the professionalism of IT and how women get pushed out. There have been a lot of very competent women in the history of computing, and yet at university, I only heard about blokes like Kernigan and Ritchie - Grace Hopper didn't even get a mention in all the lectures on compilers. And about 40% of the academic staff on our course were women (better than in industry.)
I find coding very frustrating, because so often things don't work because of one mismatched semi-colon or something. Oddly, I can be really pedantic about SPAG, and can spot a misplaced apostrophe in text from a mile off, so I don't know why the same sort of thing bothers me in coding. I am good at spotting others' errors in their code, it's just my own that drove me wild, and have done almost none since I graduated. And it's good background for the sys administration I do do.
I too am used to being the only woman in the department, and went on one techy course on storage admin where the woman behind reception cheered when I walked into the training building. The
[[http://docs.media.bitpipe.com/io_10x/io_102267/item_725046/women%20in%20tech%20surveyLR.pdf?fulfilled=true
]] Report for 2013 says 64% of women in tech have felt discriminated against in their job because of their gender (It's a question that doesn't seem to have been asked at all in the [[http://docs.media.bitpipe.com/io_10x/io_102267/item_932345/WomenInTech_2014_web.pdf
2014 survey]].) My employer is actually pretty good at supporting women in general, although particular departments have not got the message. I've been for interviews with other companies, and one in particular, I really didn't get a woman-friendly vibe, and decided early on that I wouldn't take it if offered (before it became clear that my CV had been adjusted by the recruitment agent to include experience I've never had.)
There is a lot of poor people management in IT, partly because in some companies, you can only get so far in technical roles; to progress further, you have to go into people management, and not all people who are very technically skilled also have good people skills, which I think, while not absent in other areas, is less of an issue in areas such of sales and marketing and customer support, because you have to have people skills to do those roles in the first place.
It's not just women who suffer from poor management, but women are also more likely than men to suffer from unconscious bias and stereotype threat. There are plenty of articles out there on how women tend to be better qualified and experienced and have to achieve more to be seen as level with their colleagues, let alone better. I match that stereotype...
And in the end, a lot of women think, I can't be bothered to fight this any more - especially if they've had a career break because of maternity leave or whatever. There is also the issue with "the pipeline" and women being less likely to study STEM subjects - that's not necessarily an issue, because cross-training is good, and actually, as someone mentioned above, having other skills beyond the mere technical is usually an asset. I think we who work in IT do have to do more to change the image of what it's like to work in technology careers - a lot of people still think it's just beardy blokes huddled over keyboards and surrounded by empty pizza boxes and soda cans - and there are still some of those around (well, not with the pizza boxes in the office, but only because they're not allowed,) but there is such a huge range of roles these days, and it can be so interesting and well-paid and flexible, it should be ideal for women. And many of the women who are high up in my company have had very varied careers - few have gone up a traditional career ladder. I think we need to emphasise that, too, that you're not necessarily committing yourself for life, but technical understanding and knowledge is probably going to be an advantage in any other job these days, so what have you got to lose?
(I'll just keep my soapbox over here, because I'll probably be using it again soon...)