Breastfeeding in Public

[callmewhatever]

Hi everyone, I apologise if this is listed in the wrong forum, I couldn't decide between this or aibu! Sorry but it's a long one.

I appreciate this topic has been done to death but I wanted to tell you this and gauge opinion.

My dw met a friend today, the topic of bf came up where by said friend mentioned to dw that one of her other (male) friends, let's call him Tom, had said that woman shouldn't bf in public, my dw pointed out that she had bf our dd in front of Tom before and my dw friend said that was the reason Tom had brought it up with her. Now a few months ago we were at dw friends garden party and Tom was there, this is where my wife bf in front of him. She used a cover, so didn't have everything hanging out but Tom told dw friend that he had felt uncomfortable and that dw should have gone to the bathroom or inside the house as it would have only taken a couple of minutes (he has no dc so has no idea) and it made him feel uncomfortable!

Dw was only told today and she mentioned it to me, it has really annoyed both of us. It is almost like he feels his comfort level comes above that of a woman and that of a hungry baby. Why should a woman who is comfortable enough to bf in public be made to feed her baby elsewhere due to someone else feeling uncomfortable with the idea?! I want to mention it to him if I ever meet him again, what annoys me most is the fact that he is a lawyer. How can someone think like this when it is illegal for businesses to ask a woman not to breastfeed in public? (this was dw friends house, so I would expect even more understanding)

For the record I am a long time lurker on FWR, as a man it has really opened my eyes, and whilst I appreciate I can never fully understand the issues woman face in society today it has given me a lot to think about and made me question a lot in everyday life.

Again I apologise if this is posted in the wrong area, I can request it to be moved of you wish. Thank you for any input .

Does he also ask a female friend to get men looking at p3 to close their newspapers?

I wonder what the 'friend' said to 'Tom' did she defend her friend when Tom gave his views....

You forgot to add the 00 1 to your phone number. It's an international call.

I love that at 8 am, some fucker in Michigan thinks you know what.. I'm going to troll a parenting site in half way around the world.

I wouldn't bother saying anything to him, it's second hand information. If true he's clearly a dickhead. And your DW shouldn't stop BFing in public either, although if I was her I'd be tempted to go for a full breast exposure BF next time he's around just to watch him squirm.

I would ignore too - Tom is a dick but clearly not alone in these views

If ever your dw is approached directly by any 'Tom' sorts in future, a simple "I'll feed my baby where I like, thanks" is a good response.

Glad you like FWR, callmewhatever

Oh late to this but if your DC was younger than 6mo, Tom is harassing her, according to the law. Women bfing infants under 6mo are legally protected against tossers like him.

There is no age limit on it. The law prevents women being discriminated against because they are are women not because they have small babies. I could rightly feed my 3 and half year old in the middle of restaurant and if I was asked to leave, stop or cover up it would be discrimination.

That's interesting Haz- I thought that the law specifically protected bfing mothers as you can be asked to cover up on the grounds of public decency. I mean, it would not be considered discriminatory (legally anyway) to ask you to cover your bare breast in other circumstances.

This is a quite a good breakdown of the law Scotland has additional protection until the age of two.

Oh and i guess Tom could argue it is not a public space and there for he has the right to not allow a women to breastfeed. He be an arse if he did but I think within his legal rights.

If only there was a law against being a cunt so much of life would be so much better.

and that is a fine point about being able to ask a women to leave for another reason other then breastfeeding.

"excuse me, we need you to leave the cafe"
"because I'm breastfeeding"
"no the chef set fire to the kitchen"
"oh fair enough"

I also think you wouldn't be able to feed a baby in a casino as no under 18s are allowed.

Tom was perfectly free to go to the bathroom or inside the house if he was uncomfortable.

All hail Queen Chunderella

Hazchem wrote

"If only there was a law against being a cunt so much of life would be so much better. "

While Tom is without doubt a dick, funny enough, when my wife was breast feeding our two, the biggest cunts by a country mile were other women. To be more specific, middle aged women.
My wife went from being quite a shy person to a Tigress when she started breast feeding and would do it whenever and wherever they needed it. In public or otherwise.
We never found blokes a problem, in fact most were embarresed and didnt know where to look when they realised she was feeding. The only people that regularly gave filthy looks or in a few cases said something were middle aged women.
The best was a woman in Littlewoods restraunt in Chester that, on her way out, walked well out of her way, half way across the room to confirm to herself that she was indeed, shock horror, feeding in puplic. Muttering "Disgusting" she turned on her heels and stomped off.
We just laughed at the silly old boot.

My law certainly would be applied to both sexes equally!