Sharing too much?

[Hopeibra]

So I am with a man who loves me so much but ever since I started seeing and hearing things about woman being raped and sometimes there was no justice for them I would get so angry and over time I started hating men and vowing that I would never be with one for long. All I wanted was a baby girl and nothing to do with men and I shared all this with my boyfriend and he just gets more angry with me and wants me to change. Bs I am raised a muslim and it frustrates me on how they treat their woman. Anyway I hate ranting my hate towards men to him and would like to talk to people like me. I have no friends because I don't think anyone could understand me. I was just wondering if anyone here wants to just talk sometimes? Thank you for taking the time to read. Have a good day.

Yes, but there is a male equivalent that teaches men to be men. Why are men more violent, more sexually violent, more likely to be subject to violence, more likely to be kill themselves etc etc.

I very much doubt, Puffins that you'd say these were unavoidable hardwired elements. I assume, therefore that you agree they are part of the same systematic social conditioning.

Also, I doubt you'd agree that it's completely unknown for people, based on the actions of men as a class not to have a negative opinion of men as a class.

What word do you want to use?

Patriarchy.

I think people worry that admitting misandry elevates it to being in a par and being that same as misogyny. This needn't be the case.

No. People using the word misandry are elevating it to the same status as misogyny.

That makes it no less valid. Or indeed useful for describing attitudes such as those that discourage men from doing their fair share of housework or childcare.

Perhaps having a workable feminist definition of misandry would detract from it being an MRA battle flag.

Or perhaps not using it at all.

"Or indeed useful for describing attitudes such as those that discourage men from doing their fair share of housework or childcare." What?? Men need encouragement to housework do they? Like women?

Not much interested in MRAs and their "battle flags" either. Feminism isn't here to appease men. Nothing we say or do will make any difference to MRAs.

But you might not get a baby girl.
What if it's a boy?

You can't go on hating all men.

Are there aspects of what I've said above that you think are wrong Scallops? Your own interest or use of the word is really neither here not there.

Yes Dam, it's called patriarchy. I did try and put that in my post, sorry I failed. Boys teach other boys how to be men. They tend to do it through violence, either verbal, emotional or physical. People sometimes do have negative emotions about men as a class, sadly, those people tend to be women, who have little power to do anything systematic about it. Men have patriarchy behind them, patriarchy is necessarily systematically misogynistic. Men as a class are not subjugated by women as a class, but some men can and are subjugated by patriarchy. None of this could be construed as misandry.

dam you've highlighted the issue yourself in your proposed definitions:

"If misogyny can be said to be anything that reinforces the negative stereotypes of women and thus enable patriarchy , then this is what misandry must be: societal factors that reinforce negative characteristics in men."

I don't actually agree with your definitions but based on what you've said, is it misandry when a dad tells his son to "man up" and stop crying?

If misogyny is a product of patriarchy, why is patriarchy it's own product in terms of the socialization of men - a process that you seem to exclude women from btw.

What there seems to be here is a muddling of patriarchy and the people subject to its effects. Those effects may be disproportionally harmful to women, but men are not patriarchy - they are its subjects every bit as much as women are. The system is maintained by a coalition of both sexes and practices used by both. wimp for example, would be a misandrous word. It is a word that ultimately will have a negative impact on women. This is why women should be interested.

Also, I go back to the sentiment of actually hating men. This clearly exists. You can't call the hatred of men 'patriarchy'.

I've said what I think is wrong, Damsili. Your definition of misandry and using the word at all. And the bizarre remark about discouraging men from housework. So pretty much everything you've written on this thread.

Anyway I'm disengaging because this is Hopeibra's thread and she wants support. I think Buffy's post @ 14:06 describes how most of us feel and most of us can help you here Hopeibra. Your feelings of anger are quite normal. Read a few of the other threads on FWR and it may help process that anger.

I've explained it twice. I'm not going to try to do it a third time, sorry.

Plus, as Scallops has said, this isn't the thread for it. If you want to discuss it, you could maybe start your own thread?

That was a point I was trying to make Buffy - unsuccessfully it seems. By dismissing something, there can be no influence in the dialogue surrounding it. Of course the word is used as a tool against feminism if feminists won't engage with defining what it is!

Yes, you explained your opinion Puffins thank you.

I suspect I've not understood your post correctly Buffy, because it is not naming it that brings it into being.

X post

Maybe. I'm not up on the etymology. But it still existed.

Buffy once again, I am in awe of the way you explain what I want to say with words I would never have thought to put together.