Educating teenage sons...

[ProbablyEvil]

I have 4 DS aged from 11 to 17. The eldest in particular at times uses what I would consider to be sexist phrases to insult his brothers - this morning he was winding my 15 yo up and when the 15 yo complained he shouted " Mum, you need to get * some tampons!!" I was not impressed understatement and told him off in no uncertain terms but wonder if there a more constructive way that I could approach this with them rather than simply getting bloody angry with them!!

Their father (exH fortunately) and his father (exFIL) make this type of comment often which is where it comes from I guess. One of FILs favourite comments was "never trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn't die". My DP is not like this at all and is very angry with them too (he has 2 dd and gets exceedingly annoyed about sexism too).

Oh probablyevil I know exactly what you mean. I've got a 17 yr old and a nearly 13 yr old and am horrified by some of the casual sexism my eldest displays. He seems to think women really are put on this earth for his entertainment.

He's grown up in a family where his dad never displays openly misogynistic behaviour or language and his mum picks him up on every disrespectful thing he says and is the main breadwinner. So I think they pick this attitude up regardless of what is said and done at home. Your ex and his dad don't help, but they aren't the only place your kids are getting it from.

I can't put into words how I feel about raising someone with this underlying attitude that women are rubbish and less valuable than him. He is the embodiment of the everyday sexism project sometimes! And I can't talk to him about it because I'm just going on and can't take a joke. Ugh.

In fact, last time I tried to talk to him about his dismissive attitude towards a girl at school, because she wasn't pretty enough and therefore not worth even listening to about something, he just walked off. So that didn't work...

Do you think he would say something similarly racist? If not, I find that a useful parallel sometimes.

DS does not do this, as far as I am aware. I think it is because of his school.