Why don't all men care about feminism?

[rivetedrosie]

While I support Emma Watson's Heforshe campaign, I think it's not enough. Her speech needed to be said but I feel that the kind of men who don't support feminism aren't going to be won round by an invite. To me that's addressing the kind of men who enjoy, or need, their dominant social position and saying 'I invite you to step down off your pedestal above us'. I don't think it's going to work.

I've just completed a PGCE to become a high school teacher. I've been raped twice and have experienced a sexist, abusive boyfriend. Spending a year in high schools, seeing boys taunting girls in an over-confident highly sexual way in class, treating girls badly, boys being mocked for being romantic, emotional or 'girly' and girls sobbing due to the aftermath of sexting, affected me deeply.

I think that those boys and men who are taught that relationships, romance and the family aren't things they need to be good at...aren't going to be caring about women's issues, because they're taught not to be caring. That boys and men who are taught they should be powerful and dominate, aren't going to support equality between the sexes. I'm interested to know what active feminists think.

I think it's more subtle than that.

I think there's plenty of blokes who would say 'yes, absolutely women should be equal' but the behaviour and privelage (sp?) is so ingrained they don't stop to think it applies to them.

I think it's more subtle than that.

I think there's plenty of blokes who would say 'yes, absolutely women should be equal' but the behaviour and privelage (sp?) is so ingrained they don't stop to think it applies to them.

What a depressing response to an interesting topic raised.

Yes. It is depressing. I can imagine what was posted above before the deletion messages.

Reddit was a recent eye opener for me, but it was so misogynistic that I had to leave. Having signed up in a sort of "we're all just people, it'll be refreshing to talk to a new group of people" way, I ended up beginning to seriously hate men. I was even glad that we haven't been able to have children, as I don't want them to grow up in this brave new world we've created.

(I don't need anyone to tell me those are ridiculous and unacceptable viewpoints, it's why I had to back off!)

The usual tones were/are as follows:

• A woman doesn't want to have sex with you? Then what's the point of her, really, what's the point of women who won't fuck you? Also women can get sex any time they want and it makes me angry and jealous. I hate being friendzoned. What could I have done not to be friendzoned guys? Do I still have a chance?

• A woman will have sex with you? Great! Fuck her in the arse! But watch yourself and your finances, dirty cow is after your money. Don't let her poke holes in the condom. Probably cheating too, the dirty slut. Watch her.

• A woman had sex before meeting you? Bitch! The incel community in particular wants to fucking sew her vagina shut and kill her.

• Husband/boyfriend cheating? Women do it too and more! Also you weren't giving him enough anal probably. You tricked him into loving you with blowjobs but you won't do that anymore. Get back into the bedroom. You have? Well men aren't made for monogamy, let him sleep around. You're probably ugly and fat.

• Boyfriend using too much porn? All men do and fuck you bitch for being so frigid. Get into it with him. And shave and do anal, slut.

• Domestic abuse rates? Lies! And categorically worse for men, they're just not reported. The current stats are skewed by false allegations anyway. Rape is just as much a problem for men if not more because women just change their minds after sex and lie. Women call rape all the time now for any old thing. Women hurt men more.

• ANY topic hinting of feminism? Ten million downvotes and scoffs and endless posts about stupid attention-seeking feminazis; women have equality now, there are no pay gaps and if there are it's their fault for having babies; in fact they're dominant and should fuck off, men are now the oppressed species.

What an extraordinary thread...

Fellow redditor here abacuss, wanted to come in with my thoughts. There's a lot of different subreddits and cultures that you have to develop a thick skin. A lot of what gets said is often dry humour or sarcasm. I can imagine there are plenty of genuinely nice guys with a dark sense of humour who would say "then what is the point of her" as a joke. It may look wrong from the outside but then so does all the "Can I strangle my DH" posts in AIBU unless you understand that it's just a weird sort of joke rather than genuinely asking if it's ok to murder their husband. Of course having said that there are some vile subreddits full of people who do seem to have issues so I don't know which you encountered.

I think a lot of the vitriol on Reddit is genuine, but largely the product of neckbeards and immature youths. Still a bit unsavoury nonetheless.

I’d guess that some men don’t care about feminism for the same reasons that 93% of women in the UK claim not to be feminist - this is arguably miore concerning as it is a topic of greater relevance to women. A small minority of ‘feminists’ have also earned the reputation of being bitter ‘man haters’ and I think a lot of people unfortunately view feminists as being people like ‘Big Red’ - the stereotype of the shouty, purple haired, middle class whinger.

None of the above are my views, I’m just making observation on the opinions I’ve encountered.