Pillow talk/ feminism (sort of lighthearted)

[YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx]

This could be considered as a 'Friday night' thread, but I was just wondering what the general opinion on dirty talk with the OH was, if you identify yourself as a feminist. I'm not really looking for other people's opinions as validation for myself, by the way, but just wondered if other people are passionate about women's rights (which really should be all of us) in RL but don't mind being submissive etc in the bedroom, as I sort of am.

I am not saying dirty talk is synonymous with being submissive/ giving into gender roles, but it seems to be the main theme when you think of dirty talk. Is possible to disconnect the two? Does it mean that you aren't a true feminist?

Isn't "dirty talk" just basically...any chat that's a bit sexy? Don't see any conflict between saying "oh yeah do ..*something sexual here.." and feminism.

I've always just considered dirty talk to be any naughty chat, not necessarily anything to do with "submitting". In fact everything I can think of that I would consider I might say that might be considered "dirty talk" is me telling someone/encouraging someone to do something or telling them how much I like what they're doing/when they do something. Hardly oppressive.

Also, just to point out the obvious, two women can "talk dirty" together. Two men can. It isn't a male/female power relationship thing. Not in the way I conceive it anyway.

Maybe you should expand if this isn't what you mean.

God I absolutely love dirty talk if it's done according to my fantasy which happens 0% of the time Surely it depends what the talk is? Clearly you are turned on by submission/domination and therefore that's what dirty talk is to you, but tbh to me, anything sexy I/my partner talk about is dirty talk and if I do it, it doesn't have to be about submission/domination.

I can't really think of dirty talk without it being about anything else, yet i consider myself a feminist

I'm not sure anyone here can say really

The things someone finds sexy are likely to be heavily socialised and influenced by society. Society is very misogynist in many ways.

This is probably one of those individual situations where you can explore and acknowledge the extent to which your behaviour and desires are non-feminist if you want to, but no feminist is going to denounce you for being turned on by something that is mutually consensual and not illegal

The things someone finds sexy are likely to be heavily socialised and influenced by society. Society is very misogynist in many ways.

I agree with that.

If you enjoy being called bitch, whore, slut it's worth querying it and wondering why it's acceptable (I say "you" but actually I mean "one") because there is a whole feminist can of worms there. But I think most women do things that aren't great and give in to society. As long as you can understand that it's an issue and aren't in denial of it.

If you are a bit submissive and just like a bit of filthy talk...can't say I see any issues there really

Also you should be totally happy with the talk and the submissiveness should be truly consensual.

IMO the personal is political. My last heterosexual relationship was before I discovered feminism and the way I behaved sexually then is not something I'd repeat, ever, now, despite feeling at the time that it was all "fine" and "consensual." It wasn't, I hated a lot of it and found it extremely distressing, but I didn't know how to process those feelings.

Nancy Friday wrote about female fantasties and how they were related to the environment women found themselves in. Being submissive in sex play (within a consensual relationship or in fantasies) doesn't mean you want to be submissive in the rest of your life. Do whatever turns you on.