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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Only females do laundry?

41 replies

Ginfox · 15/10/2014 11:58

The winner of this award is a beautiful photo of a female Blackbird, in a garden, with washing hanging out to dry in the background. Nothing wrong with the photo.

Link

The title is "The Suburban Mum", presumably given by the photographer. Which has successfully bloody annoyed me, but also made me wonder if I'm seeing issues where there are none (or minor at least).

I've had very little sleep, so am more than usually irritable today Brew

OP posts:
Spidertracker · 15/10/2014 12:03

I just looked and thought suburban because clearly in a garden not in the countryside and mum as we call female blackbirds mummy bird in our house.
I didn't really give the washing a thought. I don't know if that is the right interpretation or just because DH does our washing so I don't see it as a mum job.

m0therofdragons · 15/10/2014 12:08

It's a female Black bird. Not worth stressing about. Dh does most the washing in this house ;)

Original poster
Ginfox · 15/10/2014 12:10

Spider yours is probably a more rational reaction. My first thought was irritation at use of the word Mum. Why does the gender matter? It would be a great photo regardless.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginfox · 15/10/2014 12:23

You're right of course. I find I notice details a lot more since having dd, and being more aware of role stereotypes.

Of course it didn't help that I saw this right after dd(3) pointed out "Daddy's toolbox", despite the fact that I do most of the DIY around here.

But Grip gratefully received Grin

OP posts:
Spookgremlin · 15/10/2014 12:33

Well yes you're right, the joke is the blackbird is a mum because of the background of washing hanging up, the photograph and title don't really work without the 'women do laundry' joke underpinning it.

UptoapointLordCopper · 15/10/2014 12:53

No, I think you are right. Return the Grip forthwith.

  1. Female blackbirds not necessarily "mum".

  2. Blackbirds don't do laundry.

  3. A person did laundry. Not a man. Not just a woman, but a "mum". Mums do laundry. Everyone knows that. In fact they don't just do laundry, they moan about it. Either that or it's their sole reason for existence and they thrive on it and constantly try to get their whites whiter than their neighbours'. It's just laundry FFS. Get on with it, woman.

  4. Hence refer to blackbird as mum.

Hence it's annoying.

Actually the word "mum" just annoys the hell out of me. Grin It's the overuse by teachers/doctors/nurses: "Oi you - mum of small child."

Perhaps you should pass me the Grip instead. Grin

Spookgremlin · 15/10/2014 12:57

The damn blackbird looks so proud of the washing.

Damsilli · 15/10/2014 13:15

I don't read anything into it. It's a shame to get annoyed by this.

Original poster
Ginfox · 15/10/2014 13:43

Damsilli it is a shame to get annoyed by this, and I'm annoyed that I'm annoyed. Grin But it's part of the constant drip-feed of "women (mums) do this, men do that".

OP posts:
WiseKneeHair · 15/10/2014 13:46

I can understand that it is annoying, but the fact thT it is a female blackbird mays it slightly more palatable.
Fwiw, DH does the laundry in this household too.

UptoapointLordCopper · 15/10/2014 14:07

Laundry is pretty annoying. All those adverts telling you that you are failing as a "mum" if you don't bloody care about your whites being brilliant whites and your colours being brilliant colours. And don't even get me started on those adverts during the Olympics about doing the laundry being somehow "mum's" contribution towards making the next generation of athletes.

And the blackbird, by virtue of being female, somehow is relevant to laundry. It is saying that if birds wear clothes then the female blackbird would be the one doing the laundry. As the animal kingdom is, so it is for humans. Even female monkeys prefer dolls to cars etc etc. > (Ok - I admit this is a bit tenuous now, but it does wear you down, this constant "mum does this mum does that" thing ... Grin)

I am clearly in more need of the Grip than you *Ginfox", since you have the gin ...

Spookgremlin · 15/10/2014 14:55

The photograph in that form wouldn't exist at all if it wasn't a female blackbird, that's the point.

'Suburban Dad' with a male blackbird and a line of washing at the back? I don't think so. Wouldn't have had the same 'story' to it so wouldn't have been used.

All these things aren't greatly annoying in themselves, but it's the picture they create all together.

Damsilli · 15/10/2014 15:36

There are 2 million SAHMs in the UK. If we abstractly represent these real and, no doubt, proud people in art it's sexist?

Does feminism not allow for the depiction of housewives in any other light than poor put-upon martyr to oppression? House husbands (200k and rising) must be shown how?

If people are going to be annoyed by pictures of blackbirds, then maybe they could highlight what rules they'd like followed with regard to depictions.

MrsBuffyCockhead · 15/10/2014 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Damsilli · 15/10/2014 16:04

Because it's laughable!?

purpleroses · 15/10/2014 16:09

I can't quite imagine the reverse picture - of a male blackbird in front of washing - being titled "suburban dad". It would be seen as some sort of feminist statement really wouldn't it? Or just be confusing (in a what have dads got to do with blackbirds or laundry type of way?) So yes it does seem rather sexist to me.

Spookgremlin · 15/10/2014 16:28

Why are you seeing this photo of a blackbird as a depiction of a 'housewife' though? The title is 'mum' and it's a blackbird.

Some mums aren't housewives or SAHMs.

Why is a SAHM depicted with laundry and not children?

The fact that 'mum' is shorthand for 'doer or housework' is a problem for lots of women.

Presumably these 2 million SAHMs in the UK might be depicted as involved in caring for their children, not by the menial household tasks that are a by-product of everyone's life, SAHM or not. If they are proud it's of raising their children not their washing lines, I suspect.

It's perfectly possible to idly discuss the connotations of an image without needing to 'impose rules' on it. Feminists can chat about trivial stuff the same as other humans can, without instructing people to burn their blackbirds. We're reasonable people.

Spookgremlin · 15/10/2014 16:28

Because it's nonsense, damsilli.

MrsBuffyCockhead · 15/10/2014 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Ginfox · 15/10/2014 16:48

Nicely put Spook. Although you did get carried away with that sweeping statement at the end

We're reasonable people Grin Speak for yourself.

I nearly put this thread in AIBU. Can you imagine?!

OP posts:
MrsBuffyCockhead · 15/10/2014 16:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UptoapointLordCopper · 15/10/2014 16:58

I remember the days when buffy was reasonable.

Some days I think it's the patriarchy's other people's turn to be reasonable.

m0therofdragons · 15/10/2014 16:59

That reminds me, I must hang the washing up before dh gets home! Not because of gender stereotypes, but dh did 2 lots this week so probably my turn.

UptoapointLordCopper · 15/10/2014 17:05

I would also like to object to "female blackbird". It should be "brownish bird, the male of which species is black". Wink

I guess we would end up with lots of brownish birds then. Hmm Grin

Spookgremlin · 15/10/2014 17:12

Don't get me started on the patriarchal bloody sparrows.