anyone seen this blog about being a mum of boys?

[expectingno2]

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5755682?utm_hp_ref=tw

I know it Is only one blog but i am seeing it shared and liked on social media.

Not sure I know how to link properly but one of the comments - boys give better kisses ...... with no agenda??? Wtaf.

Oh god, that blog is terrible, i have three boys and i get sick of people saying 'oh they are such boys' 'well that is boys for you'

Shut up, shut up... SHUT UP!

Penguins your reason 1 resonates with me!

lol @ smarties for boys v girls

our shop has "gingerbread shapes" i was pleased to note

Ds1 not into sticks
Dd not into sticks
Ds2 really into sticks

Not sure what that proves but I do have a ginormous stick in the kitchen at the moment

Actually, I think that just proves that all children are different...dammit, I thought I was on to something there

Oh dear!
I have two DDs, one loves totally unconditionally, absolutely no strings attached.

The other is more measured, more inclined to hug you if she wants something. She lacks her big sisters deep self confidence, she tests you love her, because she needs to feel safe.

I just posted a massive rant about this when someone posted it on FB today. Got a defensive answer, but several people I've never met liked my rant.

Reads strongly as if she really wanted daughters and is trying to get over her gender disappointment by going too far the other way and criticising girls.

Note how the "bad" things about boys on her list are minor and funny (pee on the bathroom floor and fart jokes) whereas the "good" things about boys on her list are huge (uncomplicated love and affection).

Basically she's trying to convince herself that having a girl would have been awful because the girl would have been stroppy and manipulative and thank god her boys aren't like that.

DS2 was into stones. Interesting stones. 1000s of bloody 'not quite as interesting as when they were wet' stones. And bugs. And tutus. He liked and nice dress as well. And a well stocked toy kitchen. Cars.

What I'm getting at is that he liked things. I know that I was maybe less prescriptive about what he played with, being a more gender neutral parent, but he just liked what he liked.

The bit about girls being manipulative was vile though. I wonder if she's met my mother? She comes out with stuff like that as well.

What utter tripe.

And has the blogger never thought of just washing a dirty bath mat?

I hear this very often

'Boys wreck your house, but girls wreck your head'

Bloody annoying, but not new

So, I wasn't a proper girl? I've never been a giggler. Hate shopping, unless its for books. As a child I only wore dresses when required to for special occassions. No disney princesses. My barbies were pushed off cliffs then nursed back to health with nutella. Closest I came to tea parties was making mud pies. Much prefererred running around outside and exploring.

Are there really women who spent their entire childhood having tea parties, shopping for pretty dresses, and learning how to paint their nails? I thought it was a myth.

It infuriates me that strangers comment differently on DD (21 months) based on her clothes. If she's in a dress walking near the pram she's 'such a good girl helping mum do the shopping'. In jeans and her favourite dinosaur top she's 'spirited' 'adventurous' 'full of energy.' If she bolts away down the street wearing 'boys' clothes she gets indulgent smiles; dressed as a girl its all frowns and disapproval at how 'wild' she is.

People are delighted by her obsession with flowers, books, and kissing all her teddies, but don't want to know about her love of sticks, rocks, trucks, balls, dinosaurs and trains. Why do people feel the need to put children in boxes?

That blogger is a loon.

Good response:

geekmom.com/2014/09/11-thing-parents-girls-will-understand/

So harmful too, letting children get away with awful behaviour because certain behaviours are somehow innate to their sex (gender?) Wtf is it about weeing everywhere? It's a penis, not a sprinkler system. And the indulgent "boys will be boys" when they hurt other people. That really makes me .

That blog is ducking depressing. Do people really think like that?

I have 2 boys and a girl. They are all individuals.

That blog could have been written by my neighbour. Whenever DS acts out she says "it's because he's a boy". Really helpful thanks!

Her DD on the other hand is a complete "boy" in that she is very physical, climbs all over the sofas and loves DS's Nerf guns. She never seems to put 2 and 2 together and still believes that girls are the manipulative ones, often referring to her DD as a bitch!

It's an amazing amount of confirmation / selection bias and will no doubt lead to self-fulfilling prophecy, and so the cycle continues....

Nothing much to add except you guys make me feel like I've come home! I find motherhood hammers home gender stereotypes more than I could ever have imagined.

My 2.7 yo DD loves sticks, diggers, princesses, pink, rough-and-tumble and quiet stories. She's just a human being!

By hammer home I mean I never stop hearing about it, not that I agree AT ALL with GS.

Well if we are talking stereotypes it was dd who did kick boxing and Ds who bakes the best brownies and cupcakes in the world. And?

Makeminea6x

That's because when you become a mother people suddenly love to hold forth on how exactly you should be bringing your child up according to their gender!

And by people, I mean absolutely anyone! The worst has to be years ago - I was on a tube platform trying to keep DS running into the path of a man who was obviously very drunk. I was trying to be polite so instead of saying "keep away from the drunk!" I said "keep away from the edge of the platform!"

At which point drunk guy gave me a lecture on how my son was a boy and I needed to let him be a boy!

I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have lectured a father in the same way.

I walked out of a card shop yesterday with nowt because every single card for children was " for boys" or "for girls". They have genderized kinder eggs now, I just saw on an ad.
Thing is, my kid loves a lot of "boy" stuff, like football and comics, but I notice since starting school that he steadfastly refuses to do or like anything that's "for girls" even if he really does like it. He has been a bookworm for years, loved nothing better than a trip to the bookshop. Just lately he has started saying he's not into reading. Just footy and video games. Ditto playing his recorder. Maybe he is just changing, but he seems awfully self conscious about fitting in to Boy world, maybe because he doesn't really have a dad to speak of (and when he does see him the only thing they talk about is football).
He has a family who don't do much gender stereotyping, and a mum who also likes football and comics, but the pressure from all around , right from starting nursery is immense.
I also notice that anything super girly, like OneD or Frozen, is just utterly sneered at. Girl things are beyond contempt. His friend up the road now only plays with girls, and is picked on by other boys because of it. I'd like to say ds sticks up for him, but I don't know that he would put his head above the parapet like that.
And YY to bad behaviour being approved and condoned as Boy behaviour. The boys at school get away with way too much, because " we have to let them be boys". My teacher friend told me that boys get way more attention from teachers in class than girls. So while i find this stereo typing damaging to boys, i think it's even more damaging to girls, as it sets up the status quo of girls being passive, derided and getting less attention for their work. Hmm.

My 3rd boy was a ballet dancer!
Blows that theory right out if the water!!

I wanted to post the Geekmom response as well.
Giggling and tutus? Bleurgh.

I would have liked to have read something along the lines of 'you realise all the shit that is associated with masculinity too'. Yesterday I was walking my 4 yr old DS home. He has crying hard because he is just exhausted and emotional at the end of the day (just started school). Two lads walked past and said disapprovingly 'boys don't cry'. WTAF? Took him home gave him a big cuddle and told him that its fine to cry, you don't have to hide it, and can always come for help and comfort. But one day he's going to start listening to those big boys more than his mum.... How fucked up is our whole understanding of gender especially given the depression and suicide rates amongst teen boys who dare not seek help?