"Clever girl" - I'm pregnant

[WorkingBling]

I recently found out I'm pregnant but had to get an early scan. I sent my mum a text afterwards to say all looks good and to confirm due date. She replied with "that's great. Great excitement here. Clever girl."

Could someone explain to me why that "clever girl" has annoyed me so much? I think it's at least part being called girl when i am nearly 40, married and pregnant with my second child. But that's not it entirely. Is it the assumption that getting pregnant makes me clever? Please help me articulate

There's always one!

They do seem to be lining up to take shots at FWR posts this week though.....

Yes OP please can you stop over analyzing sexism on MN so we can have precisely fuck all to talk about and MN can implode and netmums can take over the interwebz?

oh and purple could you maybe stop underanalyzing things?

She's your mum who was probably chuffed to bits that all was okay and used a daft term that yes, if you analyse it, is wrong. But she was probably caught up in the moment and I cruelly think you're being a but ott about it (personal opinion)

Have you spoken to her about it if it bothers you so much?

It wouldn't bother me at all coming from my mum.

But, then, although I didn't feel particularly clever getting pregnant, I couldn't get over how clever I felt when I produced a baby that I'd made in my body!!!

This is funny. I am not bothered by her. I am trying to get a clear analytical view of why the phrase bothered me. Which many people have provided useful insight on.

If I was upset with my mum and wanted to addres it I would have posted in relationships or AIBU. I was just looking for some informed opinions.

As often happens however, this has just served to remind me again how women are expected to stY in our places at all time. I can't even come onto a part of an Internet forum where women discuss issues of sexist language and culture without being told to calm down.

I agree buffy. It always makes me think "I am definitely onto something here, 'they' are trying to stop me"

It's annoying because it is:

a) Patronising - you are clearly an actual woman, not a girl - and;
b) Illogical - you don't have to be remotely clever to get pregnant.

It would have annoyed me too. I would also have complained about it to someone else and not said anything to my mum, as you are.

I think it would annoy me also because it sounds as though becoming pregnant might be more of an achievement than other things (career, success, etc etc) you may have done in your life. To my mind there's a hint of "you've finally fulfilled your promise!" about it.

Unless of course your mum has been saying "clever girl" every time you've done anything. Always possible, I guess!

I think it's patronising. I got called "stupid, stupid stupid girl" by my GP when I got pregnant while I was waiting to go to Oxford to start my degree I'm not sure which is worse!