Am thinking this is probably the best topic to post in for some good advice - first post here so please be kind!
I've been running for a few months. Started with couch to 5k and really enjoyed how much healthier I've been feeling, so have been running a few times a week ever since. But unwanted attention from men is putting me off.
I sometimes run alone, sometimes with a friend or with DH. I always run in daylight and don't run on the pavement but in parks - I've had joint issues before and was advised by a trainer to run on grass. I also usually have headphones in as listening to music really helps me keep my pace up.
Anyway, the unwanted attention is usually nothing more than leery looks (particularly if there are a group of men I have to run past) and some comments, which I find easier to ignore if I have my headphones on as I can 'pretend' I haven't heard them and don't make eye contact. That's not to say it doesn't annoy me thought.
But there have been a couple of times where it has been much more full on than that and I have actually felt quite unsettled by it. Both times another runner (male) is there. Inevitably because we're not running at the same pace, one of us will pass the other. At that point, the man has either sped up or slowed down to stay with me and try to start a conversation. On the first occasion, I had my headphones in and tried to politely nod but then keep running and pretty much ignore him. But this man seemed determined to keep trying to talk to me, and when I instead ran ahead of him to 'get away' he sped up too and ran directly behind me for a while, before loudly making a sexual remark about my bum.
Two days ago I went to another park, this time with my DH, who is an experienced runner and much fitter than me. We don't stay together as he is much faster than me - so we both run around the park but with him lapping me a few times. So we were doing this and after a while another man started running too. The first time he passed me he made a jokey comment about him being outrun by a woman. I smiled politely and kept running. But then I lapped him a couple more times and each time his remarks started to get more creepy (you look gorgeous, what an arse, keep going love it's doing it for me, etc...). The last time I am coming up to him I do a detour and ignore him completely, which is met by a loud wolf whistle. DH hears it and is looking round from the other side of the park to see what's going on. He starts to jog over to me and the man leaves.
So - my problem is that I now feel uneasy about running on my own, but I don't want to stop doing it. So what do I do? When I told DH what had happened he was really annoyed that he hadn't realised what was going on as he would have come over. And he is saying that if I am worried he will stay with me in future.
But I don't want to feel that I should be 'chaperoned' when running. I should be able to run around the park if I want to without being intimidated and leered at. But on the other hand, I don't know how I can stop it happening, although I shouldn't let it put me off, it has put me off running on my own.
I looked on some running websites for advice for women runners and was actually quite appalled by the huge list of 'do's and 'don't's (mostly don't actually).
Don't run alone
Don't run in the dark
Don't run with headphones in
Don't run without a rape alarm
Don't run without telling others your exact route and when you will be back
Don't run in a quiet area/park
What options does that leave me with?!
FFS actually it seems as if I shouldn't be trying to run at all because I'm clearly putting myself at huge risk by even considering doing it in the first place.
So is it possible to run in public alone and feel safe, and to not get hassled constantly? Or is it just something I have to put up with? I know part of my problem is I really struggle not to be polite (ie to smile, acknowledge, etc) anybody who tries to talk to me.
Sorry this is so long btw.